People Who Make My Life Worth It (Top 35)

-Inspired by Magic in The Everyday’s “People Who Make Me Happy” 

*=are psuedonyms

Thank you to all these people (and more–even those not on the list! ) who have made a positive impact on my life.  If you don’t want your real name used, please contact me as soon as possible! These following people on the list have collectively been there for me in the darkest times, and in the times of triumph, have spoken truth, love and grace into my life when I needed it, have believed in me and accepted me as the person I am, have encouraged me to reach my full potential, and I believe have traits of an authentic person. They are also people who I have had contact with in the past year:

  1. My mom
  2. My dad
  3. My brother
  4. My mentor J
  5. Elaine Scherrer
  6. Krista Volkart
  7. Vicky Hewey
  8. Holly*
  9. Chrissy Rivera
  10. Victor Rivera
  11. Rose*
  12. Ingrid Trujillo
  13. David Dorsey
  14. Tiffany Terrell
  15. Matt Malahy
  16. Aisheyah Simmons
  17. Judy Duckett
  18. Stacy B.
  19. Jarrica Bell
  20. Kelli Huber
  21. Mary Gaffney
  22. Anfal
  23. Londine Tijerina
  24. anyone who reads my blog
  25. Katrin Alyss Rosinski
  26. Greg my store manager
  27. Willy Miranda
  28. Tati Miranda
  29. Cathy Aguirre
  30. Jim Herron
  31. Sis Herron
  32. Marie Rennie
  33. Pastor Shoaf
  34. Troy Shoaf
  35. Jack Lezza
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What I Learned From the #Metoo Movement

According to the Me Too Movement website ( https://metoomvmt.org/ ), the MeToo Movement was founded over a decade ago, in 2006, by Tamara Burke, but this movement only recently gained popularity in the wake of the scandal involving Harvey Weinstein. The #Metoo Movement has been an iconic symbol for cultural and revolutionary change for woman, not only to gain more equality, but also to fight for respect and dignity as human beings.  I have personally witnessed or heard many women, including myself, experience sexual or other types of exploitation simply because of our gender. From the #metoo movement, I have learned plenty of things, including what I believe are four of the most important credos that I hold that stem from the values of the #metoo movement that we can all apply, regardless of religious or political persuasion:

  1. Survivors of sexual harassment and/or abuse need to be valued and respected as the brave people they are, and not condemned or judged.—One of the first things that I learned that the #Metoo Movement gave me an awareness of is the horrible ways that many survivors of sexual abuse and harassment are treated when they report these incidents. Their allegations are not only often dismissed or ignored, they are, in some cases, judged or condemned, as if they were all “false” allegations. Yes, there have been a few incidents where allegations have proven to be lies and drama, but more often than not, I have found that many of the people who dismissed these allegations felt that they had to protect the perpetrator or perpetrators for some reason, even if they knew these people actually abused these survivors! I also have found that many survivors of harassment and abuse have been afraid to speak out because when other survivors have spoken out they are not only accused of lying, but are often risk ostracization from their communities, and even, in some cases, their families as well. The #Metoo movement, for me, brought this problem to light, and motivated me to speak out against devaluing people, especially abuse survivors, who have already been devalued enough.  We need to value everyone, but especially survivors of sexual harassment and abuse. It doesn’t matter what the person was wearing. No one deserves abusive or creepy behavior.  One may say that if I wore suggestive clothing that I am, in effect, “asking” to get sexually abused or exploited. Nothing could be further from the truth! If someone has a temptation to abuse me just because of what I’m wearing, they have issues of self-control. This person can choose not to look my way, if he or she, is really being tempted in that way. They can also get help for their issues, instead of blaming their target or acting on their impulses. As my pastor has said repeatedly (that serves for everyone, regardless of religious belief), “Our response is our responsibility.”

 

  1. Don’t excuse bad behavior. Ever! Speak out against this behavior.—I believe sexual harassment and abuse, especially of women, have gone unchecked and unchallenged by society for far too long. However, when several women in the movie industry spoke up against once-powerful movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, many people, including once-powerful and influential men from all walks of life, were being held to account for their allegedly inappropriate sexual behaviors. Also, men and women from all over the world, from all walks of life, bravely shared their stories of how they were sexually exploited and/or abused.  I believe the #Metoo movement has unified survivors and social justice advocates together to finally hold to account some of the perpetrators that held a powerful reign on the survivors and the values of society for far too long. Many times, I have heard people defending abusers just because they have familial or other strong ties. However, I don’t think this practice does anyone any favors.  For instance, if I found out that someone I loved abused their spouse, I would pull no punches with them, or defend or explain away their actions. My actions, by some, may seem traitorous, but in the long run, I would be helping them by influencing them to change their behavior. In  most churches that I have attended, there is a thing called “church discipline,” that progresses all the way to excommunication if a congregant or attender is not repentant (changes their bad behaviors) of their sinful actions. The purpose of church discipline is to bring repentant change to the congregant or attender, not to judge or shun them.  So, is what we can do for loved ones who engage in damaging or hurtful behavior to others, by not excusing or defending their wrong behavior.

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to be an “applecart upsetter.”– You can bring positive change by not always maintaining the “status quo.”- Most people are often like “ducks” following after the Leader Duck, and doing whatever the Leader says, without questioning or thinking about what they are really wanting from us. This is how many people function in regards to believing and acting upon the values society imposes on us.  When we really think about why we do what we do, and question some of the things that society values in order to bring about positive change, we can be an effective applecart upsetter.  For instance, the founder of the #Metoo Movement wanted to upset the applecart of the societal silencing of survivors of abuse, especially of women of color, by bringing to light this problem.  Also, when I am working, if the environment seems stressful and negative, I try to upset the applecart by working hard and trying to stay positive, even if everyone around me feels stressed and depressed.

 

 

  1. Humility needs to be more accepted as virtuous, rather than seen as weakness, in our society. –One thing that the #Metoo Movement has brought to light is the problem of arrogant entitlement in our society. In many societies, humility is seen as a weakness, an admission of guilt. However, this could not be further from the truth. From this false view of humility, I have found that this has resulted in many immature, arrogant people becoming powerful and having a further negative impact on society, so that even some of their most ordinary citizens get a narcissistic sense of entitlement in their own lives.  Think about what happened in Germany and the Roman Empire as a result of arrogant people coming to power.  Because Hitler was able to come to power, unchallenged by a significant part of society, he was able to order the genocide of over six million Jewish people, including women and children!  In contrast, one of the reasons why Jesus Christ of Nazereth was (and is) able to make such a difference in the world is because of His humility.  He died a criminal’s death, even though He had done nothing to deserve it.  Also, the reason my faith heroes, Rachel Joy Scott and Mother Teresa were able to make such an impact on the world around them was because they were able to humble themselves, and be associated with people no one wanted to be around, in order to make a positive difference in their lives, and others’ as well.  I have found and learned that the #Metoo movement wouldn’t even be necessary if more of the perpetrators just a.) learned to control themselves, and not think they were “better” than women  b) admitted their wrongdoings and really strived to treat others more respectfully and with more value.

These are some of the things that the #Metoo Movement has taught me.  First and foremost, we need to recognize and acknowledge the value of all people, especially survivors of abuse, because when we hold them dear we will learn much from them and be one step closer to peace and joy in this world. We also need to stop excusing bad behavior, even from loved ones and friends.  Also, we need to not be afraid to upset the status quo sometimes, because, sometimes, only then can positive things happen. Also, we need to uphold humility as more of a virtue, like patience is seen as, and not as a weakness or a vice. When we fight for justice, equality, and the general good of society, and model virtue, then change can be brought about. As Ghandi famously said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Soul Healer

written : 5/11/2018

dedicated to  J, Erica*, Veronica*,  Kelly*, Alice*, Holly*, Anna*, and my managers Chris* and Hope*  (*= all are pseudonyms) 

I was alone and in pain

I was also going insane

I felt so much shame

And I was in despair

 

I felt so unworthy of love and care

I dared never to lay my soul bare

Because I knew they’d condemn me

And all I came to be

 

But then, as water

That refreshes the soul,

On a hot, dry day

You came to me

 

You affirmed me with your love

The one from up above

You gave me a reason to hope

When I was on my last rope

 

Now I want to always love you

And bare my soul to you

Because you saved my life

And showed me God’s love

Things I Learned From My Mom

Today, I would like to honor moms, and, in particular, my own, on this Mother’s Day by relaying the major things my mom has taught me about life to help me become a better person.  These lessons can be applied by anyone, regardless of your relationship with your mom, and can be applied in most situations we may find ourselves. When I think about my mom, the three major things in life she has taught me are: 1) How to sacrifice for the good of someone else 2) How to work at your very best.  3) How to be frugal and appreciate what I have more.

The longer I live, the more I realize how much my mother has sacrificed for me, and for my whole family.  First of all, she moved to the U.S before my brother and I were born because she knew that we would have better opportunities and successes here.  However, this move meant leaving almost all her family behind and moving into a new area, with different customs and beliefs.  When I was growing up, she often went above and beyond to make sure we would be successful and moral people.  For instance, my mom was always the type to be willing to help me with my homework when I needed it. I also remember her giving me math problems when I was younger to help develop my skills in that area.  She was also not afraid to discipline us when our selfishness and stubbornness got in the way, and sometimes those vices led to my brother and I getting into fights or arguments.  However, my mom made sure we made up and made our relationship stronger again.  Today, since there is a sale at a local store, my mom is willing to accompany me because she knows I value her presence.  These, and countless other sacrifices made by my mom, have helped me to be more willing to sacrifice for her and others.  For instance, at my job, I volunteered to work extra hours on my birthday, several months ago, because I wanted the store to do well on its audit the next week. Yes, I would have rather done something more fun, but I wanted to sacrifice for the good of my colleagues and managers because I care about them, not just so I could get extra money.  I also have been more willing to sacrifice for my mom to do whatever she needs me to do, because I realize how much she has already done for me.

Unfortunately, many people don’t give their moms adequate credit for the hard work they do around the house and for their family.  I don’t want to be one of those people.  I have seen my mom work so hard that her entire body aches afterwards!  Like my dad, she pushes herself to get what she needs to done for the day and for the joy of her family.  For instance, several years ago, my mom used to work for hours trimming the bushes that we have around our front yard, only stopping to eat and drink coffee, until she was done.  I tried to help her get all the leaves and debris cleaned up, so she wouldn’t have to do as much work.  Because of her hard work and perseverance in working around the house and making sure her family’s needs are met, I strive to do what I can, for my family, friends, and co-workers.  For instance, at work, when I am done with straightening my area, I am eager to help out another person, so they don’t feel so overwhelmed in their area (especially if the area is difficult to straighten or if there is high shopping traffic there).  When my mom is feeling overwhelmed or tired, I ask what I can do to help and then do whatever she tells me.

Finally, my mom has taught me the value of saving money and things, and not wasting the income provided by God through my job.  She is the one who taught me that it is best to buy something that is on sale and with a coupon, if possible. She has also taught me how to not spend more than I have.  She has taught me the value of recycling, and thus, not being wasteful with the resources God has given me. In her teachings, I have learned to value the possessions that God has given me, and not take the blessings He provided for granted.  I have observed that in my country, unfortunately, we waste a lot of things and are not as grateful for the things we have.  For instance, we don’t eat all the food that we buy sometimes because we have too much of it. My mom taught me to savor every bite and morsel of food on my plate.  This has helped me be OK, and even eager, to eat leftovers, and see that as a blessing to me, instead of a burden.

These are the three major things my mom has taught me. She has taught me the value of treasuring and savoring what we have, the value of hard work and perseverance, and the importance and benefits of living sacrificially for others. What are some things your mother has taught you?  How has she helped you be a better person? If your mother is still alive and well, make sure you take the time to thank and cherish your mother today.

My Dreams

(written on : April 29, 2018)

Dedicated to all my co-workers and managers at my current job

I dreamed of the day

When I would be here

And leave a mark

Lasting until my dying day

 

I dreamed of the day

When I would be loved and valued

For not just the person I could be

But for the person they already see

 

And now my dreams have come true

God has worked in and through me

Now I can see

A bright future coming up ahead of me

 

So, I dream of the day

When the Love and Joy I found

Will become real to you

And fill you too

Being Kind in a Pain Filled World

I wrote the following poem in response to the pain around me.  While I was watching the news in my job’s break room on my “lunch” (read: dinner) hour, I heard of yet another school shooting where at least two people had died. I had just gotten done talking to a friend whose family is battling illness and pain.  I felt like I needed a good cry; I was nearing a feeling of overwhelm and anguish because I felt helpless and depressed for these people.  Then, I remembered  how one of my faith heroes, Rachel Joy Scott,  lived her life, and one of the things Jesus wanted me to accomplish on this earth—namely to spread His love in a world of pain.  Here is the poem I wrote:

 

Love in a World of Pain    written on : 3/20/2018

 

Hearts full of hate

People chasing

Longings that will never sate

The pain inside them leaks

 

Who will dare

To be the one who will care

Instead of giving them just

A blank stare

 

Before we leave a gaping wound

In someone’s heart…forever

Before tragedy strikes

And we are left reeling

 

So to whom will you give

The gift of agape love

The sacrificial type from up above

And change someone’s life for good

 

 

Then, I realized that it would do no one any good if I just sat there and moped about all the pain in this world that I could supposedly do nothing about.  I realized that I (and you too), can do something about the pain around us. One of the most effective ways to relieve someone’s pain is to be kind to them.  Here are some of the ways that I believe we can spread kindness and love around us:

 

  1. Do not ignore, ridicule, or stare at someone in visible (or invisible) pain. Reach out.—On the second stanza of my poem, I write, “Who will dare/ To be the one who will care/Instead of giving them just/A blank stare.” One of the most aggravating things a person can do to another in visible pain is just to stare at them. I hate this because this behavior implies that the person in pain is crazy or weird for expressing and having these emotions. First of all, we are not in the position to judge others’ expressions of emotions because we do not know the person’s whole story. We don’t know if we would have really responded better or even worse than if we were the same place they were.  Secondly, it implies apathy and a lack of care for the other person in pain because a stare implies that we are more concerned with how they are affecting us, than we are about the other person’s well-being.  In various things that I have read about Rachel Scott, she wasn’t one of the people who just stared at or ignored people in pain. She reached out. She not only talked to them, but was willing to be their needed friend as well.  We should follow her lead.  If someone is visibly upset, just asking them if there is anything you can do to help, or just listening to them vent can show that you care about them.  Yes, it does require some emotional labor to do this, but spending this labor can save someone’s life and is well-worth it!  Regarding the school shooting that I just heard about yesterday, what if someone just reached out to the person responsible for the act of violence instead of just ignoring, or even worse, ridiculing them?  What if their teachers or anyone around them showed compassion to them, and intentionally showed them several acts of kindness that would have demonstrated to them that they matter and that they could do something positive with their life? Reach out to someone in pain today, whether it is a friend or someone who no one would dare to reach out.
  2. Make it a point to be intentionally kind to everyone, especially the ones that could have hidden hurts. –On my birthday, I wanted the people that I work with the most to know that they mattered to me, and the hard work that they put in was worth it. So, one of the things I did was make them bookmarks with their name and their name meaning or meanings. Everyone has a name, every name means something. That is why we name people and some of our pets. They have intrinsic value to us. However, we typically don’t name inanimate objects. Sure, they may have some value, but those who you can have relationships with have infinitely more value and impact than any inanimate objects can.  Several of my friends make it a point to be kind to others, simply by smiling and asking them “How are you doing?”  Sure, it sounds simple, but how many of us constantly do it with a sincere and genuinely good-hearted attitude? Be kind, especially to those who are suffering silently.
  3. If you are religious, pray for people who are in pain.—If you are religious or spiritual, I would wholeheartedly pray for those around you who are suffering, either physically or mentally. Pray that they would be healed of their pain. Pray that they will receive some measure of comfort and peace, even in the midst of their pain. Pray that people around them (even you) would be able to and would be willing to help them in some way.  Finally, pray that they will have the strength to get through each day, because this in itself is often a struggle for those going through suffering and hurt.

 

These are some of the ways we can make a positive difference in a pain-filled world. We can reach out to those we see that are visibly hurting, instead of just staring at or ignoring them.  We can think of creative ways to get to the root of their hurt and soothe them with intentional acts of kindness and love.  We can also pray for those who are in pain.  Doing these things can not only alleviate someone else’s suffering, but can also show them that there is still love and hope in this world.

Benefits of Humility

Some people scoff at the idea of lowering yourself or allowing others to get ahead of you, because, they think, it shows weakness.  However, I believe, since it is unnatural to want to humble oneself or to allow others the greater benefit, the opposite is true. –In fact, I would even add that it takes great emotional and spiritual strength to truly humble oneself.  All around us, society whispers to us, in different ways, “Take care of number one first and foremost, then you will have great success,” and even “Be successful at all costs, even if you have to step on others’ toes to get there.” However, I would attest that most people, who are truly successful and truly make the greatest difference in our world, turn these whisperings upside down—through their willingness to sacrifice themselves for the benefit of others.  In fact, not only does humility grant us a type of success that can’t be measured by the society around us, but a humble attitude also has lasting benefits to you as well. Here are just some of them that I have observed when people (including me) demonstrate a humble attitude:

  1. Humility allows you to be your genuine self.—When we are entangled in arrogant pride, I find that we are constantly on our toes to try to impress the Next Bigger and Better person, sometimes in an effort to cover up our flaws and deceive ourselves and others, subconsciously, about them. It’s like we don’t want to face our flaws in ourselves, and we end up living in an illusion. Many people I have observed, who present themselves arrogantly, have deep-seated pain and/or flaws that they are desperately trying to hide from the rest of the world. They may be afraid of feeling rejected and unloved by others, or otherwise, being inadequate to the world. However, when we are humble, we are more likely to have a realistic view of ourselves. Contrary to some people’s beliefs, humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. “Humility” that degrades oneself is not really humility, but reverse pride.  Degrading oneself says that “I am so broken and “special” that I can’t be fixed by anyone,” which is, of course, a lie, no matter how true it may seem at the time.  While having a humble attitude does acknowledge the self as a unique and beautiful creation, it acknowledges others’ beauty and worth even more! When you are humble, you are not afraid to be vulnerable with others and show your true self—the good mixed in with your flaws—because you are not afraid of rejection or lowering of status. Status and fear of rejection no longer matter to you. The welfare of others is more important.
  2. Humility diminishes jealousy and selfish attitudes.—I firmly believe that 99.9% of all jealous attitudes stem from pride. When we are jealous of others, it not only shows ingratitude for the gifts we already received in our lives, but also a kind of entitled pride that says, in effect, “ I deserve what that other person has, and he or she doesn’t! “ However, humility acknowledges and believes that everything, even life itself, is a gift.  Humility says, “Even though I don’t deserve much, I am grateful when I do get something.”  Humility has power and strength to think about the needs of others because it isn’t preoccupied with oneself.  Humility does not ever compete against another, whereas pride wants to beat everyone at their own game, so only it gets the benefit. Humility can be demonstrated when we put others’ needs and egos, ahead of our own.  For instance, if we have a humble attitude, we will readily admit when we do something wrong and sincerely apologize and repent of our actions.  In contrast, when we are prideful, we will often excuse our sinful (morally wrong) actions or diminish the true magnitude and seriousness of our sins.  Humility is happy when another co-worker gets the promotion we wanted, but pride is envious and resentful of the other coworker getting the promotion.
  3. Being humble will get you more respect in the end.—Although there are still some people who think being prideful will get you more respect, most people appreciate it more when one is humble. Being humble will get you more respect, because it allows you to consider their needs more.  Having a humble attitude develops our empathy because you think of yourself less, and on others’ feelings and experiences more.  Yes, there is a time for self-care, but all in all, being humble involves knowing that your needs will be met, in the process of caring for others. My faith hero, Rachel Scott, was a humble person. She didn’t tell everyone about all the kind things that she did to be noticed, but just did them out of her love and care for people. Her parents and others only found out about her kind acts from her recipients, and only after her death.  Jesus Christ, another one of my faith heroes, and my Lord and Savior, also demonstrated great humility by being willing to die an excruciatingly painful death in our place, so we didn’t have to.  Now, both Jesus and Rachel Scott, are greatly respected by many people because of their acts of kindness and humility.

As you can see, having a humble attitude has many benefits.  Humility allows you to be your genuine self, without reserve or regret. Humility eliminates, or at least, lessens jealousy and self-centered attitudes, and humility can get you more respect in the end.  Allowing others to be bigger than yourselves is a sign of great strength, not weakness. Humility does have a price of sacrifice to pay, but it is worth it in the end.