I wrote on April 9, 1999, when I was still in high school:
“I wish I could be more […] effervescent (lively). I feel dead without being
physically killed. I hope I don’t die emotionally, but I am dying. If I could
only find that zest, that greatness life is supposed to hold. But where is it,
at least in me?” I had no hope. I was
fine physically, but I was slowly dying inside.
I’m thankful that I didn’t die or take my own life. Though I didn’t know it on April 9, about one
year later, I would find Hope. Hope that helped me through the storms, and come
out on the other side being greeted with a beaming joy and confidence that I
had only dreamed of years before. Hope has also given me drive to persevere,
even when I thought I could never make it. Hope has redeemed relationships that
I thought were forever shattered. Hope
has taken the junk in my life, and made it a treasure.
Hope was, and always is, Jesus.
Hope has given me purpose to live. Before I became a follower of Christ, I was
living aimlessly, for myself. I had adequate material things, but I never
really thought about blessing others with it.
I wanted to excel academically, but that was getting more and more
difficult, and my limitations were becoming more apparent.
With Jesus, I have realized that the world is so much bigger
than me. With Jesus, I am able to partner with Him to share His great love and
hope for a world that is looking for something bigger than the pain and the
drudgery that life often brings.
Hope has given me a light at the end of the tunnel. I still
struggle with depression occasionally, but now even in it, I have hope that God
will bring good out of even that. I have
hope, because God’s strength and light will help me overcome a depressive
episode. I have hope because God has
surrounded me with a group of people who love and care for me.
Hope has given me renewed confidence and joy that I had
never known before. Since I found Hope,
He has provided me with several communities of believers who have had my back
and who care for one another. This
support network I have had has helped me through some of the toughest times of
my life, and even helped deliver me from some really bad situations.
Hope has provided me with my current job and some great
managers, including several that believed in me enough to help me learn new
things. I want to give a shout out to my
now-former manager Elizabeth* who believed in me enough to allow me to train to
be a back-up cashier and learn some managerial tasks as well. I want to give a shout out to my now former
manager Chris* who took the chance and first hired me.
Hope has provided me a great mentor, in J, who always
believed in my abilities and was God’s message to me that He would use me to
accomplish His great will in my life.
Hope has provided me countless wonderful friends who have
put up with my depressive episodes and have helped cheer me on.
Hope has given me much hope for the future. Hope has given
me freedom from the shackles that held me back in my past.
Recently, I have seen or witnessed more than my fair share
of what happens when compassion is lacking or absent in the workplace. I saw a
video of a person vandalizing company property because they had been bullied so
much there. Now, there is even training in many companies of how to survive a
workplace shooting! What has this world come to? And how can we do our part to
make sure each associate and client in the workplace is treated with dignity
One of the ways we can do this is by showing compassion to others. According to Merriam- Webster.com, compassion can be defined as “ sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress to alleviate it.” (“Definition of Compassion, Merriam-Webster). In other words, compassion is having a heart to help and heal others through their pain and struggles.
Why we should show compassion:
The primary reason for us to show compassion is because
Christ did. In Matt 9:36, when he was preaching in the cities to crowds, He
“was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered
abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” In Matt 15:32, Jesus said to His
disciples, “ I have compassion on the multitude,because they continue with me
now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting,
lest they faint in the way.” In each instance, Jesus wanted to provide for
them, either or both physical or spiritual nourishment. Compassion is different
from pity in that compassion strives for action, while pity is more passive and
often takes a hint of condescension.
We should also show compassion for the sake of our humanity.
When we regularly and intentionally show compassion to others, we become more
caring, and thus, more human. Some people reason if they stop caring about
others, they won’t get hurt. While that may have some truth to it, being
completely apathetic breeds monsters. The results are people murdering and/ or
abusing others “for fun” or just to suit some sadistic fantasy. These people are so callous, they no longer
have the capacity to truly care about anyone outside themselves.
Furthermore, we should show compassion for others to help
save lives or at least avert violence in the workplace. In the example of a
person being bullied by colleagues and even managers, what if instead they
tried to ascribe dignity and compassion to them? What if instead of
participating in workplace gossip, we focused instead on thanking those who
work hard for us everyday? If someone is clearly distraught or upset, instead
of ignoring or ridiculing them, we should try to comfort and be encouraging to
them. When we do this for the people who
work with us, or for our clients, we can sometimes save their lives. Maybe if
more people showed compassion, less troubled people would be tempted to wreak
havoc at our jobs. Instead, they would have more motivation to do something
positive with their lives because they know someone cares.
Last, but not least, compassion breeds productivity. For
example, one of my now-former managers, *Elizabeth, knew I was very stressed
one day, and instead of punishing me or getting upset at me, reiterated the
qualities she admired in me, and encouraged me to not give up. Also, Elizabeth
also allowed me to learn many things under her direction and didn’t give up on
me when I didn’t get it right the first time. Her compassion for me when I was
stressed and when no one else believed in me is a big part of what kept me
going during tough times in our store.
Now when I’m stressed and remember what Elizabeth said to me, I feel
much more motivated to persevere through the stress.
Ways to Demonstrate Compassion:
Some of the ways we should demonstrate compassion are:
To encourage others who are going through a tough time.– When someone looks stressed or upset, be there to comfort and encourage them. For instance, if a co-worker is going through a divorce with their soon-to-be ex spouse, tell them they are not alone and help them through that with whatever you can.
To pray for others.– Another way we can demonstrate compassion at work is to be willing to pray for others if they tell you of a need or concern and are open to prayer. Many people see our willingness to care enough to put their needs and concerns before the Lord as a refreshing and positive thing.
To serve others.– I have had several coworkers who have struggled with physical health issues, so I have offered to help them with some of their tasks. This allows them to be more relaxed and thus heal faster, then if they had to work at the same frantic pace that may be expected of them when they are 100%. Another way one can help is to pick up some of their shifts if they anticipate not being able to work at all.
To appreciate others’ good work– When you see someone doing a good job or if someone does something to help you, thank them. Write a note of encouragement and appreciation to the colleagues that have helped you the most, and the managers that do above and beyond what is expected of them.
As you can see, compassion goes a long way to improving morale and general workplace conditions. When we show compassion and care, we learn to be more Christlike; we avoid becoming callous monsters, we can help save lives, and help increase productivity, and thus profit for our company.
When I was growing up, I was a naughty and very active
child. Despite my energy, I did not
really have any close friends. Back then,
I dreamed of one day going to a prestigious university, like my parents, and
getting the best grades possible. I probably thought, unconsciously, that if I
made it to a prestigious and a good university, I would then be able to get a
job that would pay me a lot of money, and thus I would win friends and
Indeed, I worked very hard in school and got decent
grades. However, I really didn’t have
passion for the content of what I studied; I just wanted to do well to please
my parents and also to be “the
I wanted to be respected and
valued. In retrospect, getting good grades at school became a sort of idol for
me. I worshipped the god of achievement,
and without it, I reasoned that I was worthless.
Then, when I was sixteen years old, I struggled through
several classes. I no longer got the grades I wanted or needed. I was even in
danger of failing a class. One of my teachers even said in so many words that
he didn’t believe I would ever amount to much in this life, probably partly due
to the fact I wasn’t doing so well in his class. I also lacked peer support. In
fact, no one in my class dared to counter what that teacher said to me. I also
I felt my family could not relate to the turmoil inside me, as they seemed to
be living a different life. In fact, in
a journal entry from April 1999, I had written, “I wish I could be more […]
effervescent (lively). I feel dead without being physically killed. I hope I
don’t die emotionally, but I am dying. If I could only find that zest, that
greatness life is supposed to hold. But where is it, at least in me?” I was so
depressed that I wanted an escape, maybe to even end my life.
However, several months later, God saved me from that. Fast forward a few years later, I went to
college, but not at a prestigious university which I had dreamed. After I graduated, I tried to look for work
in my field of study, but to no avail.
After that, I finally found a part-time job in retail.
There, I learned many customer service skills and other people skills I needed
to succeed. I did well there, but after
a while, I felt God calling me to somewhere else—a place where I never
thought I’d end up. It was during that
time, that God was preparing me for a new life, where He would give me more
than I could have ever dreamed.
I was so excited when I got an interview at one of the local
bookstores near where I lived! I had always dreamed of working in a
bookstore! I loved books, and the
workers there seemed nice. However, the
day of the interview, I quickly found out that I wasn’t the right fit. At this point, I didn’t think I would get
another job opportunity any time soon. The search went on.
Then, one, cold wintry day on February 25, 2016, I went with
my mom to the store I now work to buy a few things. What I did not know was that trip would
change my life forever.
I asked the HR representative the status of my resume, and
after that she offered me to interview at 1 pm.
Since I didn’t have adequate time to prepare or change into more formal
attire, my mom and I ate lunch at the mall nearby, and then I went back to the
store to get interviewed. When I got
interviewed, I was so nervous and stuttering over my words, that I thought
surely they wouldn’t accept me. To my surprise, I got a job offer! I waited
until the next day to accept, after I sought counsel from my family. On March 10, I officially started at my
Meanwhile, many people were leaving my now-former church. I
loved that church, but inside there were so many changes that it rocked the
congregation. About half of the congregation left or were in the process of
leaving. At about the same period of
time, my brother told my parents and me that he was going to go to school in
Texas to get his Master’s degree. What I
didn’t know then was my brother was going to live there permanently.
I felt, except for my new job, that my dreams were going to
be shattered all over again. I would
either have to accept the changes at my now-former church or find somewhere
different to worship. Not going to church wasn’t even an option for me. I would also have to adjust to life without some of the support of my brother.
My brother left for Texas in August 2016. The day he left,
the house felt hollow and quiet. The basement that used to be full of my
brother’s stuff was now almost bare, but habitable again. My dad went with my brother to help him move.
My mom and I remained at home. I felt numb and solemn that day. My heart felt
like there was something missing—the void where my brother’s physical
presence radiated my life.
Then, in mid-October, I said goodbye to the church that I
had been attending for about ten years.
It was very hard, as I had established so many friendships there, and
these people were like a second family to me.
Before I left to visit a church nearby, I was in tears, as I said
goodbye to some of the congregants.
However, there was a very bright spot, in the midst of all
the goodbyes, a month before I left my now-former church.
In September, I was working the swing shift, and one of my
managers, Hope* was closing with me. She
was complimenting me about my performance that day. Since I was still
part-time, I told her, “I am thinking of becoming full-time. However, Chris*,
my manager, said I should wait a while. I was wondering how long I should
wait.” Then, Hope replied, “You shouldn’t have to wait. You deserve
full-time.” Later on, or the next day,
she put me in for full-time. Later, Chris also approved my full- time status. I
was ecstatic! Because of all the
challenges that I had to face, I never dreamed I would ever get a full time job
in my life!
A month later, after I had left my former church, I visited
another church. It had many more people
than the one I had previously visited. A
friendly couple greeted me and I sat by them.
Even the pastors were friendly. The sermon that day was very
thought-provoking and relatable to what I was going through in my life. I
didn’t know yet if this was going to be my new home church, but I liked their
genuineness and their devotion to the Word of God, so I kept going. In August
of the next year, I officially became a member of my current church. Through my church, I have learned how to have
an engaging quiet time with God, how to view life more positively and
differently than most of the rest of the world, and how to forgive people who
have hurt you deeply.
God’s Perfect Plan
No, I never got the six figure salary I had dreamed of, nor
did I get into a prestigious college. However, I have been blessed with more
than I could have ever dreamed. Through my church family and people at work, I
have gained a strong support system. Also, I am still in touch with several
people from my old church, who I still consider good friends, even though they
live very far away from where I am now. Through the tough situations I find myself in
at work, God has used those to strengthen and shape my character into His. Through church, I continue to train to be
able to share the love and hope that I found in life through God and His
gracious plans for me. Yes, I still have
bad days, but overall, I have found more joy and satisfaction during these past
two years, than at any other time in my life. God has certainly blessed me with
more than I could ever dream!
I believe that most of our problems in relationships stem from an “I-deserve-better” attitude. This past Friday (at the time of this writing), a disgruntled former employee opened fire and killed five of his co-workers at a manufacturing facility, about a half hour from where I live. I attest one of the reasons why he got so angry was because he thought he truly deserved the job, and when his bosses fired him, everything in this former worker unraveled before him. Though most of us would not murder when we don’t get what we think we deserve, we can still get tempted to get similarly angry when our “rights are being violated” or we think we aren’t “getting the good we deserve in this life.” This causes us, me included, unfortunately, to become defensive and angry at those around us…and even at God. However, a good thing to keep in mind, especially if you are a follower of Christ, is, “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17a) and that we don’t really deserve anything! When we have a mindset that everything good in this life is undeserved and is a gift of grace from above, this entitlement attitude starts to disappear. However, in the society we live in, especially if you live in a Western country, this entitlement attitude is deeply ingrained in us, me included, that I think we need to learn how to embrace the “gift” mentality instead. Here are some things that I have learned about why we should strive to treat whoever and whatever comes our way as gifts, not as something “owed” to us.
When we think we are entitled to someone or something, we
are not acknowledging that God really owns it all. However, when we acknowledge that everything
we get is a gift from God, we are recognizing His control and His power over
our lives—an important aspect of true worship. My pastor said today that we
must be willing to be a living sacrifice in order to truly worship God, and
part of being a sacrifice is relinquishing our rights to His control. If you work, even the money we “earn” from
your job is a gift because it is God who gave you the abilities and skills to
do your job well enough to be able to sustain employment and thus a paycheck! I
wonder if the recent shooting on Friday could have been avoided if, when the
man who shot five people at his job got fired, instead of getting angry at this
perceived injustice, he just appreciated the money he had already gotten from
his job and just appreciated the gifts he still had in his life more.
When we see everything we have as a gift, and not something
that someone “owes” us, we become more able to be content with life, even with
its caveats and imperfections. Think
about how it feels when you get a gift that you totally do not expect or
deserve. Not only are you most likely to
feel intense joy, but also, more likely, an overwhelming sense of gratitude and
humility towards the person who gave you the gift. When we strive to approach our lives the same
way, each blessing we get will cause us to feel joy and gratitude. However, when we think we are owed something
or that we “earned” something, we are not as grateful because whatever we get
is our due, anyway, or so we believe. This is why most of us get upset when we
don’t feel we are getting what we perceive is owed us. We see it as an
injustice, a violation of our moral rights.
However, if we take away the “scoreboard” in our souls of things supposedly owed us,
this anger has no longer has any place to reside, and will melt away.
When we see everyone and everything that is given to us as a
gift, we tend to value them more. For
instance, if my friend gives me something that I perceive is from his or her
heart and that is not owed me, I tend to want to take better care of it, so
that I don’t lose the preciousness of the gift.
This not only applies to material gifts, it also applies to treating
each person as a gift from above. When
we treat each person as a gift from above, instead of someone or something
disposable or suited only to meet our needs, we tend to treat them better. I have witnessed and heard in many different
workplaces, unfortunately, of people being treated like disposable objects, or
at best, tools, if you will, instead of the precious, complex image-bearers of
God they are. This mentality seems to be
growing worse and more prevalent, not only in workplaces, but also in other
social constructs as well. However, when
we go against the grain and strive to treat each person we encounter as the precious
gifts they are, we can not only touch lives, we can change the world around us
for the better.
When we acknowledge everything we get is a gift, not
something we are owed, we are most ready to worship God rightly; we are more
likely to be content and grateful with our lives, and we will value those
around us more. This week God has been
teaching me over and over again that everything I get from Him is a gift, and
not something I could really deserve or earn.
When I realize all that has been given to me, I realize that I am
blessed beyond measure by a God who gives me more than I could ever deserve.
Have you been tired, stressed, and overworked lately? Has
the joy you once had at work been drained by the people and circumstances
around you? If so, you are not alone. In
fact, according to the NIOSH report, about 40% of all workers in the U.S
reported that their jobs are “very or extremely” stressful. (source: https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/99-101/pdfs/99-101.pdf?id=10.26616/NIOSHPUB99101). If you are working in a tough or a stressful
work environment, there is hope. Personally, I can relate to being stressed at
work, but when I apply these principles to how I approach my job, I find that I
become less stressed.
a good work ethic. –Yes, there have been several times during the whole of
my work career in various places where I have been tempted to quit. However,
something inside of me, probably the Spirit of God, urges me on. This has helped me continue to persevere in spite
of everything else inside of me screaming to “QUIT” or “Slack off.” Always do your best, and never let anyone
else convince you to do otherwise. If
you feel aimless or that you are just “going through the motions” at work, try
to have a mindset of trying to learn everything you can to boost your
credentials at work. This will also help you in case of layoffs, to be more
indispensable and more likely to be secure in your job, or being more easily
able to find another good job if that should happen. For instance, at my job, I
have aimed to learn how to cashier, because I know that cashiering is an
essential part of retail, and without these skills, I would be less likely to
be able to move up or be versatile in the company I work for. Now, my managers are able to use me to
cashier in case the regular cashiers call in sick or we are shorthanded.
others.—I have found that many people in various workplaces and in places
where some of my friends work are in desperate need of encouragement and validation. If you see someone going above or beyond, or
are providing their clientele with excellent service, let a manager know that.
More importantly, let the person know that they are doing a good job and that
you value them. Be specific in your compliments. Don’t just say, “ You work
very hard,” which can be good, but would mean more if you said something like,
“ Joe, I appreciate how you took care of that customer today, making sure they
had everything they needed, and making them feel valued through your patience and making sure all
their questions were answered.” If you
must criticize, assure the person that you still value them in other ways. Never put down someone just to break their
spirit. It is mean, callous, unnecessary, and ineffective in motivating people
to do their best work.
servant’s heart.—Be willing to help others where needed, without stressing
yourself out. When someone feels
overwhelmed by their work, and you are able to help them, do so. If someone is going through a tough time and
confides in you about it, offer to pray or help them in any way you can. When
Jesus washed His disciples feet, He modeled for them—and us—a model we should
all follow. We should not only model
that in church or at home, but also in the workplace. Managers, never be “too
busy” to help and guide your associates.
Associates, be willing to do what your managers says, not only to be
respectful, but also to help them through their struggles and lift a burden off
If we modeled a good work ethic, by persevering and doing
our best, if we encouraged our co-workers, bosses, and clients/customers
instead of putting them down, and if we had a servants’ heart approach to the
tasks needed to be done at work, instead of only looking to our own interests,
we could boost morale at our workplace significantly. By following these
principles, not only will we boost morale, but we also will also build our
integrity, which is something worth living for, in all areas of our lives.
On April 9, 1999, I wrote in my journal that I was dying
inside. Nine days later, on April 20, one of my now-beloved faith heroes,
Rachel Joy Scott, was shot and killed by one of her classmates. Her legacy and
impact, however, will live on for many, many years. One of the lives that she
has touched is mine. I have been so inspired by what I learned about how she
lived her life! The three major things I learned about life from how she lived
is 1) how to appreciate people and things in one’s life more. 2.) how to be
amazing— and strive for more than “average” or the status quo. 3.) how to be
First of all, Rachel was known by others as being
appreciative of what she had. In fact, according to the book, Rachel’s Tears by Beth Nimmo and Darrell
Scott, she always stopped on her walks to look at the flowers and to engage
with babies and small children when she went to the mall in her area ( Nimmo
and Scott, 69). She also had the reputation of really engaging with the people
she encountered on a regular basis and helping them when needed. Because of
what I learned about how Rachel lived her life, I also aim to be an encouraging
presence in others’ lives, instead of being a whiner or Debby downer. In order
to do this, like Rachel, I must be willing to sacrifice my time in order to
really be able to engage and invest in others.
In fact, in his book, “Chain
Reaction,” Darrell Scott reiterates this fact. He says, “Many people are
too busy, but if we want to be helpful, we will need to take the time.(Scott, 115).
Secondly, Rachel once wrote, according to multiple sources,
that she wouldn’t “ be labeled as average.” In all the books and articles I had
ever read about her, I sensed that Rachel Scott wasn’t one of those people who
just lived to “get by”. She wanted to try her best in order to impact as many
people as she could, for positive. She constantly strived to improve herself
after she sensed that she fell short, both in her relationships with others and
things like her job and work at school. She didn’t care if the people she
encountered were outcasts or in any way different from her or perceived
societal norms. She interacted with the people that needed her encouragement
and love the most, even if it cost her reputation. I also aim to be so much
more than “average” or the “status quo”. Like Rachel, I aim to upset the apple
cart when necessary. I also aim to impact as many people as possible with the
love Jesus Christ and countless others have graciously shown me. How much more
satisfying life is when we strive to do our best everyday and not just do
Finally, another lesson I learned from how Rachel lived her
life is how to be authentic. From all that I have read and heard about Rachel,
I gathered that she was honest about her feelings and struggles, and therefore
was able to be more relatable to others. It bothers me, however, when people
act like they are perfect and don’t have any struggles, because I know they
are hiding something from me and probably aren’t trustworthy either. Rachel, in what I have gathered about her, was
almost never, if ever, like this! I learned from her life to be open about my
personal struggles, not so others will pity me, but to be more trustworthy and
honest about who I really am, and to comfort and encourage those going through
similar issues. I also learned that if one is honest about their struggles, it
opens up the opportunity for others to open up as well, with less fear of being
judged or condemned for their problems. This is where healing begins!
I have never personally met Rachel Scott, but am very
excited to be able to meet her in paradise someday. To me, she is almost
everything I would love to be–appreciative of others, amazing (or at least
more than average), and most of all, authentic. This is why she remains one of
my “faith heroes” today.
Nimmo, Beth and Darrell Scott. (2000). Rachel’s Tears. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
Scott, Darrell, with Steve Rabey. (2001). Chain
Reaction. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.