I wrote on April 9, 1999, when I was still in high school:
“I wish I could be more […] effervescent (lively). I feel dead without being
physically killed. I hope I don’t die emotionally, but I am dying. If I could
only find that zest, that greatness life is supposed to hold. But where is it,
at least in me?” I had no hope. I was
fine physically, but I was slowly dying inside.
I’m thankful that I didn’t die or take my own life. Though I didn’t know it on April 9, about one
year later, I would find Hope. Hope that helped me through the storms, and come
out on the other side being greeted with a beaming joy and confidence that I
had only dreamed of years before. Hope has also given me drive to persevere,
even when I thought I could never make it. Hope has redeemed relationships that
I thought were forever shattered. Hope
has taken the junk in my life, and made it a treasure.
Hope was, and always is, Jesus.
Hope has given me purpose to live. Before I became a follower of Christ, I was
living aimlessly, for myself. I had adequate material things, but I never
really thought about blessing others with it.
I wanted to excel academically, but that was getting more and more
difficult, and my limitations were becoming more apparent.
With Jesus, I have realized that the world is so much bigger
than me. With Jesus, I am able to partner with Him to share His great love and
hope for a world that is looking for something bigger than the pain and the
drudgery that life often brings.
Hope has given me a light at the end of the tunnel. I still
struggle with depression occasionally, but now even in it, I have hope that God
will bring good out of even that. I have
hope, because God’s strength and light will help me overcome a depressive
episode. I have hope because God has
surrounded me with a group of people who love and care for me.
Hope has given me renewed confidence and joy that I had
never known before. Since I found Hope,
He has provided me with several communities of believers who have had my back
and who care for one another. This
support network I have had has helped me through some of the toughest times of
my life, and even helped deliver me from some really bad situations.
Hope has provided me with my current job and some great
managers, including several that believed in me enough to help me learn new
things. I want to give a shout out to my
now-former manager Elizabeth* who believed in me enough to allow me to train to
be a back-up cashier and learn some managerial tasks as well. I want to give a shout out to my now former
manager Chris* who took the chance and first hired me.
Hope has provided me a great mentor, in J, who always
believed in my abilities and was God’s message to me that He would use me to
accomplish His great will in my life.
Hope has provided me countless wonderful friends who have
put up with my depressive episodes and have helped cheer me on.
Hope has given me much hope for the future. Hope has given
me freedom from the shackles that held me back in my past.
Recently, I have seen or witnessed more than my fair share
of what happens when compassion is lacking or absent in the workplace. I saw a
video of a person vandalizing company property because they had been bullied so
much there. Now, there is even training in many companies of how to survive a
workplace shooting! What has this world come to? And how can we do our part to
make sure each associate and client in the workplace is treated with dignity
One of the ways we can do this is by showing compassion to others. According to Merriam- Webster.com, compassion can be defined as “ sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress to alleviate it.” (“Definition of Compassion, Merriam-Webster). In other words, compassion is having a heart to help and heal others through their pain and struggles.
Why we should show compassion:
The primary reason for us to show compassion is because
Christ did. In Matt 9:36, when he was preaching in the cities to crowds, He
“was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered
abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” In Matt 15:32, Jesus said to His
disciples, “ I have compassion on the multitude,because they continue with me
now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting,
lest they faint in the way.” In each instance, Jesus wanted to provide for
them, either or both physical or spiritual nourishment. Compassion is different
from pity in that compassion strives for action, while pity is more passive and
often takes a hint of condescension.
We should also show compassion for the sake of our humanity.
When we regularly and intentionally show compassion to others, we become more
caring, and thus, more human. Some people reason if they stop caring about
others, they won’t get hurt. While that may have some truth to it, being
completely apathetic breeds monsters. The results are people murdering and/ or
abusing others “for fun” or just to suit some sadistic fantasy. These people are so callous, they no longer
have the capacity to truly care about anyone outside themselves.
Furthermore, we should show compassion for others to help
save lives or at least avert violence in the workplace. In the example of a
person being bullied by colleagues and even managers, what if instead they
tried to ascribe dignity and compassion to them? What if instead of
participating in workplace gossip, we focused instead on thanking those who
work hard for us everyday? If someone is clearly distraught or upset, instead
of ignoring or ridiculing them, we should try to comfort and be encouraging to
them. When we do this for the people who
work with us, or for our clients, we can sometimes save their lives. Maybe if
more people showed compassion, less troubled people would be tempted to wreak
havoc at our jobs. Instead, they would have more motivation to do something
positive with their lives because they know someone cares.
Last, but not least, compassion breeds productivity. For
example, one of my now-former managers, *Elizabeth, knew I was very stressed
one day, and instead of punishing me or getting upset at me, reiterated the
qualities she admired in me, and encouraged me to not give up. Also, Elizabeth
also allowed me to learn many things under her direction and didn’t give up on
me when I didn’t get it right the first time. Her compassion for me when I was
stressed and when no one else believed in me is a big part of what kept me
going during tough times in our store.
Now when I’m stressed and remember what Elizabeth said to me, I feel
much more motivated to persevere through the stress.
Ways to Demonstrate Compassion:
Some of the ways we should demonstrate compassion are:
To encourage others who are going through a tough time.– When someone looks stressed or upset, be there to comfort and encourage them. For instance, if a co-worker is going through a divorce with their soon-to-be ex spouse, tell them they are not alone and help them through that with whatever you can.
To pray for others.– Another way we can demonstrate compassion at work is to be willing to pray for others if they tell you of a need or concern and are open to prayer. Many people see our willingness to care enough to put their needs and concerns before the Lord as a refreshing and positive thing.
To serve others.– I have had several coworkers who have struggled with physical health issues, so I have offered to help them with some of their tasks. This allows them to be more relaxed and thus heal faster, then if they had to work at the same frantic pace that may be expected of them when they are 100%. Another way one can help is to pick up some of their shifts if they anticipate not being able to work at all.
To appreciate others’ good work– When you see someone doing a good job or if someone does something to help you, thank them. Write a note of encouragement and appreciation to the colleagues that have helped you the most, and the managers that do above and beyond what is expected of them.
As you can see, compassion goes a long way to improving morale and general workplace conditions. When we show compassion and care, we learn to be more Christlike; we avoid becoming callous monsters, we can help save lives, and help increase productivity, and thus profit for our company.
I believe that most of our problems in relationships stem from an “I-deserve-better” attitude. This past Friday (at the time of this writing), a disgruntled former employee opened fire and killed five of his co-workers at a manufacturing facility, about a half hour from where I live. I attest one of the reasons why he got so angry was because he thought he truly deserved the job, and when his bosses fired him, everything in this former worker unraveled before him. Though most of us would not murder when we don’t get what we think we deserve, we can still get tempted to get similarly angry when our “rights are being violated” or we think we aren’t “getting the good we deserve in this life.” This causes us, me included, unfortunately, to become defensive and angry at those around us…and even at God. However, a good thing to keep in mind, especially if you are a follower of Christ, is, “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17a) and that we don’t really deserve anything! When we have a mindset that everything good in this life is undeserved and is a gift of grace from above, this entitlement attitude starts to disappear. However, in the society we live in, especially if you live in a Western country, this entitlement attitude is deeply ingrained in us, me included, that I think we need to learn how to embrace the “gift” mentality instead. Here are some things that I have learned about why we should strive to treat whoever and whatever comes our way as gifts, not as something “owed” to us.
When we think we are entitled to someone or something, we
are not acknowledging that God really owns it all. However, when we acknowledge that everything
we get is a gift from God, we are recognizing His control and His power over
our lives—an important aspect of true worship. My pastor said today that we
must be willing to be a living sacrifice in order to truly worship God, and
part of being a sacrifice is relinquishing our rights to His control. If you work, even the money we “earn” from
your job is a gift because it is God who gave you the abilities and skills to
do your job well enough to be able to sustain employment and thus a paycheck! I
wonder if the recent shooting on Friday could have been avoided if, when the
man who shot five people at his job got fired, instead of getting angry at this
perceived injustice, he just appreciated the money he had already gotten from
his job and just appreciated the gifts he still had in his life more.
When we see everything we have as a gift, and not something
that someone “owes” us, we become more able to be content with life, even with
its caveats and imperfections. Think
about how it feels when you get a gift that you totally do not expect or
deserve. Not only are you most likely to
feel intense joy, but also, more likely, an overwhelming sense of gratitude and
humility towards the person who gave you the gift. When we strive to approach our lives the same
way, each blessing we get will cause us to feel joy and gratitude. However, when we think we are owed something
or that we “earned” something, we are not as grateful because whatever we get
is our due, anyway, or so we believe. This is why most of us get upset when we
don’t feel we are getting what we perceive is owed us. We see it as an
injustice, a violation of our moral rights.
However, if we take away the “scoreboard” in our souls of things supposedly owed us,
this anger has no longer has any place to reside, and will melt away.
When we see everyone and everything that is given to us as a
gift, we tend to value them more. For
instance, if my friend gives me something that I perceive is from his or her
heart and that is not owed me, I tend to want to take better care of it, so
that I don’t lose the preciousness of the gift.
This not only applies to material gifts, it also applies to treating
each person as a gift from above. When
we treat each person as a gift from above, instead of someone or something
disposable or suited only to meet our needs, we tend to treat them better. I have witnessed and heard in many different
workplaces, unfortunately, of people being treated like disposable objects, or
at best, tools, if you will, instead of the precious, complex image-bearers of
God they are. This mentality seems to be
growing worse and more prevalent, not only in workplaces, but also in other
social constructs as well. However, when
we go against the grain and strive to treat each person we encounter as the precious
gifts they are, we can not only touch lives, we can change the world around us
for the better.
When we acknowledge everything we get is a gift, not
something we are owed, we are most ready to worship God rightly; we are more
likely to be content and grateful with our lives, and we will value those
around us more. This week God has been
teaching me over and over again that everything I get from Him is a gift, and
not something I could really deserve or earn.
When I realize all that has been given to me, I realize that I am
blessed beyond measure by a God who gives me more than I could ever deserve.
Sunday night, after a snowstorm had ended for the day, I realized how much pain and anguish Jesus had gone through for us—for me, during the last hours of His life, 2,000 years ago, as my pastor relayed the excruciating details of what Jesus had suffered. Over the past few weeks, I confess there had been so much stress going on in my life that I had lost sight of God’s presence and even love for me. However, as I look back over my entire life, I realize that Jesus had not only saved and redeemed me through His sacrifice 2,000 years ago, but also through various people and events in my life. As I look forward to celebrating Easter, I want to remind you—and myself—of God’s saving grace, not only for my sake, but also for yours, so that you will remember how God has been good to you and how blessings have poured into your life.
This is my story, but more importantly, it is His!
On April 9, 1999, I wrote these despairing words in a
journal, “I wish I could be more […] effervescent (lively). I feel dead without
being physically killed. I hope I don’t die emotionally, but I am dying. If I
could only find that zest, that greatness life is supposed to hold. But where
is it, at least in me?” At that time, I
was feeling very restless and felt like something was missing from my life.
Tired of all the pretense around me in my life and feeling like I couldn’t
relate to the lyrics of most popular songs, I began searching for deeper
music. That is when I was led by God to a
Christian radio station that played songs in the popular style I liked, but
also had deeper lyrical meaning for me.
Through that, God used this longing for something “more” in my life to
lead me into a Christian bible study group at a public school I attended. Some months later, I accepted Christ as my
Lord and Savior.
God has also saved my literal, physical life several times
as well. When I was struggling most
severely with depression and suicidal thoughts, each time He reached out to me
and prevented me from doing the unthinkable.
Also, on June 14, 2014, after having been hospitalized already a month before for food poisoning, I had to be hospitalized again. (For the whole story on how and why, please visit this page. ) I had been throwing up blood earlier that morning, and I knew something was wrong, so I went to the ER. I found out later that I had to have gallbladder surgery because my gallbladder was twice the size it should have been, was inflamed, and I had several gall stones! Thankfully, I had gone to the ER in time because if I had waited longer, I may not have been here on earth today. God was definitely a part of the timing in this and in guiding the successful surgery by my surgeon.
Then, about four years later, there was a severe blizzard ensuing outside. Many associates had called in sick at my current job, and because I was feeling bad for one of the managers that worked overnight, I wanted to help him. He had so much work to do, with not enough people to do it. I had worked from 2 pm, and my shift was supposed to end at 10 pm. However, I planned to work another shift to help him out. However, when this manager, let’s call him *Chris, realized that I lived more than a few minutes away from work, he told me, “I care about my associates.” and told me in so many words that he would rather have me safely home than me worrying about him getting the work done and possibly have an accident by going home later, when the storm was more severe. I sensed that God was telling me to listen to Chris, and I did. I not only was able to get home at a decent time, I had to call off the next day because the weather was so bad! Thankfully, God moved in Chris to care about my safety, and thus He used Chris to save my life!
Another way, Jesus has redeemed me is by providing me hope
and purpose in serving Him. When I was
struggling to find lasting work, He provided me activities at my now-former
church, like the food pantry and the clinic, to be able to serve the needs of
others. By serving at the food pantry
and the clinic at my now-former church, my eyes were opened to the pain and the
needs of others. I saw people find hope
and purpose, as they were being served by my fellow volunteers and me. I saw
Jesus work through both ministries in powerful ways, as many people felt loved
and cared for by the volunteers there. It was there that I also met some of the
most genuine, loving, and caring people, including one of my friends, Laura,*
that now attends the church which I am now a member.
After that, through my mentor J, and others, I was able to
get my first stable job about six years ago.
There, I learned much about customer service, which I strive to apply to
my current job. God also led me to see
every day as an opportunity to minister to those around me—both customers and
Then, about three years ago, on a cold, wintry February day, I got my current job, being hired by one of my now-former managers, Chris*(Yes, he is the same one that helped save my physical life in February 2018!) , and several months later, Hope,* one of my managers, promoted me to full-time. God has used this job, not only to help me serve Him better, but also to continually mold and shape me, and so He could tear away the layers of my selfishness and pain of having been bullied by peers and others growing up. I am also constantly able to learn new things about how to serve customers better and to be a better person, personality-wise.
A few months before I got my current job, on December 2015,
I started the blog, “God’s Whisperings.” From there, God led me to engage with
other like-minded individuals in a blogging group. He also gave me a vision to
start this blog as a way to teach others what I have learned from Him, so that
they would know His love and goodness in their own lives as well. About a few months ago, I was led by God to
join a local writing group, as a way to, not only have a concentrated time to
continue to write, but also to learn from others.
Finally, Jesus has saved and redeemed me through various trials, because without them, I would not be the person I am today. Before I got my current job, I applied and got interviewed for a job at a local bookstore that just opened. This was what I had considered one of my “dream jobs.” However, I quickly learned during the interview that I was not a good fit for that job. I felt very disappointed, and slightly despairing, until I interviewed for my current job in February of 2016! Had I had gotten that job at the bookstore, I don’t know how long I would have lasted, or if I would have learned as much as I have at my current job.
Jesus also saved and redeemed me through failed friendships and relationships. He saved me from several people who did not have my (or His) best interests in mind, and who betrayed my trust. Jesus saved me from those who would have hurt me if they had been in my lives much longer. Finally, Jesus continues to redeem my life, through the changes I am currently experiencing, including the redemption of several friendships and relationships that I thought were doomed forever. You can read about one of them here.
As we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection this Sunday (for those
that are Christians), let’s remember
what God has done in our lives to bring us to where we are today, and for the
blessing it is that He is alive and working in us today! Thank God for not only His salvation, but
also for the plenty of times He has redeemed us in our lives!
It has been said in both media and general
health circles that artificial flavoring, colors, and additives can have
harmful effects on the body. I can
attest from personal experience that artificial people can also have harmful
effects on us. What do I mean by
artificial, or “fake “ people? I do not mean that they physically do not exist
in reality or that they are worthless, but, rather that these people display
behaviors that regularly hide who they really are and their true intentions.
For instance, fake people will be “kind” to you only if you are beneficial for
them and do exactly what they want. When they realize you are a unique person
with your own dreams and desires, or when you no longer can meet their desires,
their true intentions will show.
In our society, many people tend to strive for
power and prestige of some sort, whether it be popularity, money, or some other
kind of status. This has led some to become so desperate, that they feel the
need to impress and hide their true selves. There also seems to be a
narcissistic tendency in these people and in societal culture in general.
I used to, when I was growing up, want similar
prestige, thinking if I worked hard enough and succeeded in school, I would
somehow gain the love and acceptance from others I so craved. However, when
Jesus took a hold of my life, I realized that I really wanted authentic acceptance and love, things
that only happened when God helped me open up and not fear who I was inside.
I don’t do fake.
I don’t do fake, because fakeness creates
distance and separation between people. I have a problem with people who have a
facade of never having trouble or personality deficits, because it 99.9% of the
time means they are hiding something from you, while simultaneously pretending
to be someone who they are really not. In fact, in my life, I have had to limit
contact with several people like this, because I realized my friendship with
them would no longer be sustainable if I wasn’t able to trust them. Fake- ness
separates people and creates walls between them.
One of the reasons I created this blog is to
strive everyday to live vulnerably and authentically. I have realized that if
we are open to others about our struggles, it frees others from the fear of
condemnation and judgment, and allows them to be more able to share their issues and struggles.
I don’t do fake because fake- ness impairs
one’ s ability to truly love. Because many people wear facades and become
“fake” to advance and/ or protect themselves, they become so self-focused, they can give little or
nothing to others around them. True love, by definition, is giving oneself for
the benefit of another. When we are authentic, we are more free to give of
ourselves because we are not tied down by fears of being exposed or rejected on
a basis of our lies. When I was able to be more authentic with people in my
life, I found that I became more confident in myself and my ability to give
something of value to them.
I don’t do fake because it is deceptive and
disappointing. Satan is the “Father of Lies,” and thus fakeness too. Christ was
never fake! He always told people
what He really thought and didn’t hide His true self from anyone, including His
deity! In fact, He was so authentic that it irritated and angered the
Pharisees, who lived in hiddenness and hypocrisy in order to maintain their
power and prestige over the common people! I strive to be like Christ by not
being afraid to show my true self to others. Of course it can be scary to show
one’s true self because not everyone will accept you, but it’s better than
being “loved” for who you are really not.
Also, there will be people who will appreciate and accept your
authenticity, and how freeing is that!
Also, the truth will always be found out in the end. Yes, one may get away with
being inauthentic for a while, but the day will come when they will be exposed
as the fraud they had been all along. Don’t let that be you!
I don’t do fake because it devalues oneself
and others. When someone hides from me and masquerades into someone who they
are really not deep inside, they are, in essence, telling me they don’t think
I’m worth the truth! When we
consistently hide our true selves from others, we are also devaluing ourselves
because we are unconsciously telling ourselves that we are not worth loving for
who we really are. We thus say to
ourselves that we have to create an “ideal” self to be acceptable to us and
I don’t do fake, and neither should you. Shine
forth as the unique and beautiful person you were created to be, and strive not
to be afraid of your struggles and flaws because everyone has them!
It was a cold, wintry February day, right after my birthday when I got interviewed for my current job. I sensed in my spirit to ask about the status of my resume. I honestly did not think anything would happen, but when the HR coordinator told me to come back for an interview, a couple hours later, I knew there was hope.
Since I didn’t have time to go home, I couldn’t adequately
plan for the interview. When I came back to my current workplace, another
interviewee, Anastasia * was already there, and we made some small talk, as we
waited to be interviewed. Anastasia was
interviewed first, and after she came out, I was interviewed. The interviewer,
I found out later, was also going to be my manager, Chris*! I was very nervous
during the interview. All Chris asked me was, “How did you go above and beyond
for a customer.” Nervously stuttering, I answered how I made sure the
customer’s questions were answered, and how I would pray for them if they
wanted me to.
I didn’t think I was going to get the job because I was so
nervous, but to my surprise. Anastasia and I both got job offers! Anastasia
accepted immediately, but I waited until the next day to accept after seeking
counsel from my family.
During orientation, Chris kindly sat down with me to give me
my schedule for the next couple weeks. It was many more hours than I got at my
previous job. The only time I had ever worked that much, was during the
Christmas season! I was very pleased. But then Chris went on vacation for two
weeks, and everything changed….
Because I didn’t take the time to get to know Chris as a
manager or a person initially, we had many conflicts. There was always a period
where things were good again, but then there would be more conflict, that grew
more intense, as time went on. This cycle repeated itself for one and a half
years! During the worst of the conflicts, I flirted with the idea of switching
departments or even quitting my job! However, God, in His sovereignty, didn’t
allow me to follow through on these options
When the conflicts got really bad, I had also tried avoiding Chris completely, as I had dreaded seeing him every day, but that only lasted a few days. However, I knew I had a serious problem when, on my day off from work, I came to church still very upset about the situation with Chris. I was not only dreading possibly having to see him again the next day at work, but I also became consumed with thoughts of how much he had hurt me and so on. The bitterness and anger inside my heart, at the time, was like a whale about to consume its food whole!
I saw my pastor, John, and immediately sensed that I had to
seek counsel about my situation with Chris, because I was afraid if I didn’t
get help soon, I would eventually blow up at Chris, get myself disciplined and
even lose my job!
these concerns to my pastor, John*. I also told him, “I tried to be nice to my
manager, but I don’t think anything is happening.” In retrospect, I wasn’t even really working
hard in being that nice to Chris. That
is when Pastor John told me to turn to Romans 12:12-20, and Matthew
5:44-48. The particular verse, Romans
12:20, struck me. It said, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he
thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his
Then, Pastor John said, “How do
you know God is not working in Chris? Patricia, you have to trust God’s
timing. God may not bring about the
changes now, but how do you know he won’t make the changes later, in His own
perfect timing.” The verses in Matthew
5:44-48, about loving your enemy, and Romans 12:15-20, about serving someone
who you view to be the enemy, as to soften him or her, and what Pastor John
said about God’s timing, made all the difference. I had renewed hope that
things could change for the better between Chris and me. And it did!
That night, I sensed God telling
me that I should apologize to Chris for the anger and bitterness I had against
him, so I typed up an apology note to Chris for the anger and bitterness I had
held. The next day, I wanted to give it to Chris but the department manager
ended up doing it for me since another manager wanted me to straighten some
aisles in the store right that second! After my break, I caught Chris doing
freight, and asked him if he had read the note. He said he had. There, we
worked things out, and that day, things really started to become better.
After that next day, I felt so
much better and so hopeful that things would get better for us. The barrier and slime of hatred and
bitterness that I had for Chris melted away within days, if not hours, of me
talking to Pastor John. I started to be
able to look at Chris with eyes of love and compassion, and not the revulsion
and disgust that I had earlier.
However, several months later,
Chris was moved to a different area of the store altogether. I would no longer
have the opportunity to show the love and respect to him in the same capacity I
did when things were tough between us. I
was sad, but now I know having Elizabeth* come on as my new manager was part of
God’s good plan for me.
Several weeks after that, Chris
switched areas again to cover for someone else, who worked nights. However, since Chris did such a good job
covering for this other manager, the store manager kept him in that position
for almost a year.
One wintry day in February of
last year, I wanted to work overnight for Chris because many people had called
in, due to a severe blizzard ensuing outside. I felt really bad for him that he
had to do all of this work with only a few people to help him. However, when
Chris realized that I lived more than a few minutes from work and I had already
worked since two in the afternoon, he told me that working overnight that day
for him wouldn’t be a good idea. He, in essence, said “I care about my
associates. I would rather have you safely home, than to worry about getting
all this work done.” That care he had for me contributed to me being physically
safe that day. I listened to him and
went on my way, at a decent time. The
next day, the storm was so bad that I called in. Had he not cared about my safety and just let
me work for him, I don’t think I would be alive today.
After that, Chris and I got
along much better.
Then, a few months ago,
Elizabeth told me she had accepted another opportunity at another company. I
cried, as I never thought she would leave that soon, and besides that, I
considered her one of the best managers I have ever had! I was also anxious because I didn’t know who
would replace her or what would happen to our department.
Some people who know me well may think to themselves why I didn’t just quit when I felt Chris was hurting me, because when most people feel as hurt as I was, they will make sure that they never have to face that person again. They won’t take time to think about how they may have contributed to the conflict, or even think that things could ever be redeemed between them and the person who they have harbored anger and bitterness against. I confess that though I had prayed for one and a half years for things to be improved between Chris and me and for God to take away my anger and bitterness away from me, I never really thought anything would happen. God, however, in His grace,proved me wrong.
What people don’t understand is how the power of forgiveness and redemption changes you and allows you to see the light in someone you may have once hated. Upon seeing the light, you know you can never give up on that person again. You start to see beauty in that person, and the anger and revulsion will start melting away. That is how I saw Chris was worth the fight.
Epilogue: Chris is no longer with my company, but I will always remember him as someone who always worked hard and believed in me and my potential. I will never forget him. I wish him years of joy and success in wherever he ends up next in his life.
everyone who believed in the potential of a woman with ordinary dreams
One day, at work with two other of her
colleagues, chatting over their childhoods during break, a woman– the one with
ordinary dreams, said, “When I was growing up, I was naughty, and I didn’t have
many friends. One of my peers even said, ‘You are a very difficult person to
get along with’.”
Neither of her colleagues believed her.
But it was all too true.
About 25 years earlier, because of her
disability and other differences, the woman with ordinary dreams was never
taken seriously, regularly taken advantage of by peers, and was often chosen
last for team sports in gym class and class projects. No one really wanted to
look into her soul and get to know her. She was too selfish, rigid, and
difficult; they reasoned.
Ten years later, she became a bit easier to
deal with, but had a paranoia and bitter pain in her soul. She really felt she
couldn’t trust, much less open up to, anyone. Never had this girl thought she’d
ever really be valued in anyone’s eyes. Confirming this despair, one of her
teachers had said in so many condemning, angry words that she would probably
not amount to much in life, and she believed this for fifteen long years. The
week this teacher told her this, this girl with ordinary dreams– one of which
was to be accepted and loved for who she was– , saw that dream shatter before
her eyes. She reasoned if she would never really be loved for who she was, even
to her hurting soul, life was no longer worth it.
Thus, she contemplated suicide, but then God
rescued her from self- destruction and despair.
The woman with ordinary dreams meets her
mentor who would change her life forever because her mentor believed in her
potential and the value of her soul. The mentor keeps prodding and helping the
woman until she lands a job in which she can actually succeed. The mentor also
helps her gain confidence in herself and believe in her dreams again. Even to
her dream of one day becoming a writer
and getting a full- time job somewhere, the mentor never ridiculed or
dismissed, but actively helps the woman fulfill them.
The woman with ordinary dreams senses God
leading her to a new job, since a previous one no longer fit into her expansive
dreams. The woman, with dreams of being a writer and being loved, is stoked
about getting an interview at a bookstore, which she considers her “dream” job
that would lead her to be able to write someday . However, during the actual
interview, it was made clear to her that this was not the job God had for her.
Her dreams are shattered once again.
However, she does not give up. Going into a
store, which she applied for, to buy a few things, she suddenly hears a voice in her soul that told her to ask
about the application. She does and, subsequently gets an interview. The
interviewer, she finds out later, was going to be her manager!
That manager is the hardest worker she has
ever seen in her life! While preparing the logistics for the interview and
afterwards, she sees the manager also stocking items in the area he manages, or
The woman is shocked to find out that she has
been accepted for the job–and happy as well.
However, she doesn’t know then, that God would use that job to fulfill
her ordinary dreams of being loved and also becoming full-time.
That woman was me.
This month marks three years with my current job. It may not seem like much, but considering I’ve not had many jobs where I was in one company that long, it is only by God’s grace, my mentor J, Chris*, Elizabeth *, and countless others who believed I could be of value to them, that I was able to make it this far. My wonderful co- workers and managers in #1401 have taught me so much. I aspire to be like my mentor J, who never gave up on me and who valued me. I aspire to be like Chris, whose work ethic and dedication to his associates is a model for me to follow. I aspire to be like Elizabeth, who always believed in her associates’ potentials and encouraged them to reach for the stars. She encouraged me to learn to cashier when others seemed more reluctant to take me on, and satisfied my curiosity to learn new skills and to try my best always. I aspire to be like Hope*, who first offered me full- time and encouraged me to strive for excellence.
Thank you everyone at #1401 who helped me get
to where I am today. Today, I am able to realize my ordinary dreams, all
because you believed in me.
*= names changed for privacy of the