How I Overcame Depression This Year (and how you can too!)

On and off depressive episodes have been a part of my life since I was ten years old.  Sometimes, I cry for what seems like forever and a day, and sometimes I just become numb to everything around me, while hiding the turmoil inside. Though, when you meet me, I may seem happy and bubbly, for years it was only an unconscious façade to prevent myself from dealing with all the feeling of inferiority, self-hatred, and unfulfilled desires I had inside.

Then, some major changes in both my life situations and perspectives happened last year that fueled my motivation to beat depression once and for all this year. I still do struggle sometimes, but the depressive episodes are getting fewer and fewer. In my life situations, these four events fueled some major changes:

  1. My brother moved away.
  2. I got a new job.
  3. I went to a different church home after being at my previous one for over ten years!
  4. I started blogging more.

Here is what I learned from these events that have helped me overcome depression and enjoy some of the most joyful moments of my life. :

  1. I forgave those who hurt me.—There have been many people that have hurt me in the past. After several people hurt me emotionally a few months ago, I talked to one of the pastors at my church and he told me to “kill them with kindness” and directed me to the passages in the Bible where it said to “Love your enemies,” and “heap burning coals upon [my enemies’] head[s],” by loving and serving them anyway. It was in that moment that I realized what I wanted out of the people who hurt me and why it wasn’t working.—I wanted those that hurt me to stop hurting me! I had thought that by refusing to forgive them, I was, in essence, “punishing” them and giving them a taste of their own medicine that they deserved. However, in reality, what was happening was that I was hurting myself, and the people who hurt me not only continued to unconsciously hurt me because I was harboring so much anger and bitterness towards them, but also probably didn’t care or even know that they were still hurting me!  So, I believe God told me to “let go of the anger” because it really wasn’t accomplishing anything I wanted anyway, and I followed my pastor’s advice of intentionally doing good to them to help me heal from my anger and bitterness towards them.  Not only was I able to forgive these people, but our relationship was rekindled as well!
  2. I cultivated my dream of being a writer by blogging.—After starting and stopping blogging for about five years (I had accounts in other social media forms that are deactivated and I no longer use), I finally created this one in December 2015, but really made a commitment to regularly blog after getting my new job last year.  In addition to that, I joined a blogging group on Facebook, which has been a huge blessing and has helped me in many ways.  I am planning to monetize my blog sometime late this year or sometime next year, and/or do some affiliate work with this blog.  Writing has not only soothed me but has enabled me to communicate to others in ways I never thought possible.
  3. I woke up my motivation to learn about many different things in this world to increase my knowledge and so I could help and teach others.—This motivation and love of learning were really what woke up in me in two ways. First of all, my pastors’ sermons are always relevant to what I am going through and about the world around me. To apply what I learned, I felt that I could take what he taught and learn more about the topic. For instance, once he preached on creation, and that made me want to learn about how the world was created and about the different creatures that inhabit this planet.  Secondly, in the blogging group, I am a part, I have to read others’ blogs in order to get people to respond to mine and stay a good standing member of the group. This rule has helped me to learn about many different topics from fashion and travel to tips on how to better my blog! What are some things you can learn about the world around you?  What are some things that you can learn that your family and/or friends are interested in? I would try to learn about these things so you can better the world, make a difference in others’ lives, and also for your own enrichment.
  4. I embraced my spirituality more deeply.—As you may be able to tell from the title of the blog, “God’s Whisperings,” I take my Christianity quite seriously. However, before this past year, my devotions with God were lacking in quality and depth and I just didn’t feel as close to Him or to the people around me.  That changed when one of the pastors at my church did a bible study on doing devotions with God. Following his teachings, I was able to have a more effective and enjoyable time with God. Also, I tried to apply what I learned spiritually to other parts of my life too, such as my job and the friendships that I had with others, both in and out of work.
  5. I learned to enjoy and value my time more.—Before I got my current job, I felt that I was bored and had too much time on my hands. Now, with my free time being much more limited, I value my time more. I try to find something to enjoy in the moment I’m in now.  I no longer fear being bored or unfulfilled, because I now realize something always can be done, even if it is something as simple as prayer.  I learned that even if I have to spend some time with difficult people that something good still can be learned from them.  My pastor has repeatedly said, “Time is life.” I want to enjoy all the time that I have left because I can see all around me how precious life is and how limited time really is and how we should never waste it.
  6. I learned to love others more unconditionally.—As time goes on, I see all the pain and hurt that many people I know have to go through, often times on a daily basis. I also, unfortunately, see a lot of hate and indifference in this world, and I think that is tragic. So, because of this, I have resolved to strive to be different and counter all this hatred and anger with love and compassion.  I have tried (but still struggle with) being more patient with others, and putting others ahead of myself. I learned not only to forgive those that hurt me but to love people no matter what.
  7. I strived for excellence in everything I do.—It does me no good to just do something “to get by.” Nothing is more rewarding than to know that your hard work was all worth it. I strive for excellence in everything I do because it motivates me to constantly better myself and to learn new things.  Also, I have seen that when I do something with all my heart, that it is more rewarding than if I do something half-heartedly.
  8. I never gave up even though at times I wanted to, even though at times I failed in life, or even when obstacles had stood in my way.—There were a few times when I just wanted to give up. However, God didn’t allow me, and that has made all the difference. When I failed either morally or in other ways, yes I got upset, but then I picked myself up and tried again.  When obstacles stood in my way, there was always a way around it. When I wanted to give up, I thought of the negative consequences of actually giving up like not being able to accomplish my goals in life and not being able to be a positive influence in this world.  These things and often deliverance from a bad situation or situations gave me the motivation I needed to go on.

These are just some of the things I learned to do this year (and last) that helped me overcome my depression. How have you coped with or overcome depression, if you have struggled with it?  How has your life circumstances helped you to more effectively cope with life’s stresses? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

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True Love: Why It Is Worth It

From the racially charged demonstrations about two months ago in Charlottesville, Virginia to the tragedy in Las Vegas just this month, there seems not only to be a lack of love, but people everywhere searching for hope, and more importantly, love.  They are searching for someone who will hold them and patiently listen to their pain and anguish in their lives, someone who will appreciate them for who they are, not just what they can do, someone who will be there for them when everyone else has deserted them, someone to give purpose and meaning to their lives. People need love more than ever in their lives!

Unfortunately, the word “love” has been tossed around like a worthless rag. Its meaning has been reduced to sensuality and good, mushy feelings, diminishing the true value of the word. However, true love is much more than that. Love, as I define it, can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, where “charity” equals love (KJV):

“Charity suffereth long and is kind. Charity envieth not, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

From this verse, here is why I personally believe loving others is worth it:

  1. Love builds trust in relationships.— True love is not dependent on feelings or doing something kind only if one “feels like it.” True love willingly serves even in the face of adversity. Love means being there for another in the long haul. For instance, it is the husband who doesn’t leave his wife just because he doesn’t have loving feelings towards her at the time. It is the friend who does not give up on the other because he or she has found out something difficult or unattractive about the other person. This builds trust because the recipient of the love knows that the giver will never ever give up on them or the relationship.
  2. Love gives freedom to both the giver and the receiver.–For the giver, when one loves they become much less focused on the self and their own problems and more concerned about others. Thus, their own problems will usually pale in comparison and love gives them freedom to give more of themselves to others. This happens to me when I listen to or read about what others have had to go through in life.  Focusing on them and encouraging others through their issues helps me to put my own problems into perspective and usually helps me appreciate my own life more, that I am not facing that issue or that I have but now I am at a place where I can help others through that similar issue. For the receiver, love gives them the freedom to open up and be vulnerable without the fear of being judged and condemned by the person wanting to give the love. Furthermore, love gives them the freedom to just be themselves, without having to hide their true selves or “morph” into a more “suitable” version of themselves. Finally, when you someone truly loves you, they only want the best for you and they don’t continually think evil thoughts about you, so you don’t have to worry about their motives in trying to do good things for you,  or whether you have to “pay them back,” or “suffer in the end” for their good.
  3. Love gives purpose and meaning to our lives.–If you really love someone, you will invest in them emotionally, spiritually, and oftentimes financially and in other ways as well. This investment gives us someone to live for to ensure their welfare and their joy in their life. If you are spiritual, loving others will also bring you closer to God and His purposes for your life. In contrast, when we stop caring about and loving others, life becomes meaningless and empty. Your heart becomes hard and unmalleable to help solve any of the malaises of this world and make any positive difference in others’ lives.
  4. True love lasts forever.–If you really love someone, your love will never die. When someone loves you, their love for you will never die either.  Yes, even people we love will have to leave us (or the earth) sometime, but I believe if that person truly cares for and loves you, they will almost never forget you. A good indicator of if you really love someone is if they move to a different place, do you still remember them and how they look like? Do both of you make an effort to connect?  Do you still pray for or think about them? If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” they probably have a special place in your heart. Also, true love never “disowns” people because it never gives up on someone. If someone gives up on you, they probably never loved you.  If they are there for you through thick and thin, then they probably do love you. True love lasts.

These are just some of the reasons that love is worth it. How can you love someone today? I don’t mean just the romantic or the mushy, gooey love either, but the true, agape love that Jesus gave everyone.  Trust me; because of the long-lasting effects of true love such as the building of trust in relationships, the giving of purpose and meaning to our lives, the sheer freedom it gives, and the fact that it lasts, love is definitely worth it.

 

Things One Should Say To an Abuse Survivor

DISCLAIMER: Triggers for talk of rape and abuse. Absolutely NO disparaging comments allowed or your comment will be deleted! 

In the era where there are more people coming forward about being abused despite their perpetrators trying to silence them, there is still much work that needs to be done to help these survivors heal. One way this can be done is by saying things that will help the survivor heal and move forward despite all the horrible things that have happened to them. In my experience in dealing with people that have been abused and/or bullied, here are things that I think they need to hear from you:

  1. “I believe you.”–Many survivors suffer not only from the post-traumatic effects of having been abused but also from the stigma of not being believed, especially by family and/or friends of the perpetrator and sometimes even people in their own circle of influence. Saying to them that you believe what they went through was and is valid and real will help them heal because saying this validates their experience and feelings surrounding the traumatic event. It says you will be there for them and that you acknowledge their value and their worth.
  2. “This was not your fault.”–Many survivors also believe, at least to some extent, that the abuse was somehow their fault. This is what the perpetrators want them to believe because they (the aggressors) often do not want to a.) take responsibility for their actions and b.) believe that they are that bad of a person that they need to change their behaviors. However, this is NEVER true.  For instance, even if a rape survivor wore revealing clothing, it does not mean it is the survivor’s fault that they were raped! It is totally and completely the perpetrator’s fault for not controlling himself or herself and treating someone in a vulnerable position like an object of their twisted and selfish pleasures!
  3. “You are valued and loved.” —Many survivors I know struggle with low self-esteem or self-worth. Even people who are not survivors can struggle with this, but survivors even more so because the perpetrators have brainwashed these survivors into thinking that they are much less than they really are. Often perpetrators want their victims to think lowly of themselves, so it is easier for them to control their victims.  Survivors of abuse often struggle with this long after their perpetrators are out of their lives.  Telling the survivor that he or she is valued and loved, with a sincere heart, of course, will help them to regain their confidence and rebuild their lives.  Going a step further, and actually showing them that they are valued and loved, of course, can drastically improve survivors’ lives and/or outlook of their future.
  4. “I am here for you.”–A lot of survivors I know feel alone and/or struggle with depression.  This is often because the perpetrator often wants to silence them. If the perpetrator is successful in doing that, a survivor can feel that they have no one to turn to and that no one can really be trusted. Thus, they feel alone in their pain and suffering, and many can only tell their accounts of the abuse years after it happened.  Some, sadly, even take these accounts to their graves, or the perpetrator is believed instead of the survivor and thus is never punished or disciplined for their crimes. Saying “I am here for you,” will make the survivor feel less alone in their pain. It shows solidarity with them and will eventually open the gates of trust in their heart because saying this with a sincere heart will assure the survivor that they are not alone in their pain and that they don’t have to suffer alone.
  5. “You are beautiful.”–Abuse survivors, especially if they were abused sexually, often struggle with how they view the person staring back at the mirror in some way. Saying this in a platonic and sincere way can help survivors regain their self-confidence. However, one should also be careful to say this in such a way that it emphasizes their infinite worth as unique and awesome creation.  One should never say this half-heartedly or in a seductive manner!
  6. “You are not alone.”–As I said before, a lot of abuse survivors think they are somehow alone in their trial and anguish because they are often silenced or sworn to secrecy by their perpetrators especially if the survivors were abused as children.  Saying “You are not alone” to an abuse survivor can mean the world to them. Even though some may know logically that they are not alone, it is often refreshing for them to know that they a.) don’t suffer alone. b.) their anguish is not so unique that no one can ever understand or relate to them in some way.
  7. “I care about you” OR “I will support you.” –Some abuse survivors may feel that no one really cares about or supports them, especially if they have been told by some people in some way that their experience is not believable (even if what they experienced is 100% true).  Saying and demonstrating in some way that you care about them and are willing to support them can be a boon to them. This will mean to the survivor that they have a friend (you) who will help them through the up and downs of the recovery from their abuse and will show to them the perseverance of true love.
  8. Any other validating words.–What this world, and especially abuse survivors, need is love and validation.  Be careful when offering advice or criticism, because these things can hurt the survivor even more even if it is not intentional.  Often abusers control their victims by demeaning them not only physically, but also with hurtful and unnecessarily devaluing and mean words.  If you must offer advice or criticism, do so gently. Never verbally attack a survivor! Always think of them before yourself. Validate them by reminding them of their worth to you and to society, and do so sincerely. Most people can see through fake gestures of “kindness.”  Be sincere and kind in your words to others, especially survivors, always.

These are some things an abuse survivor needs to hear from you. If we validated everyone, especially people who have been through so much, I believe this whole world would heal from their pain and anguish, and it would be a much better place to live. Who can you love and validate today? Please discuss in comments.

What I learned from my vacation

You may wonder why I hadn’t been writing for the past week and a half or so. Well, I have been on a siesta and have taken a vacation. However, being on vacation has not stopped me from continuing to learn about the world around me and how to better it. I met many amazing and interesting people during my vacation, including two men having the same name as my favorite manager ( see also: Qualities of my favorite manager)! Here are some of the things that I learned about this particular vacation that can be applied by almost everyone in everyday life (not just on vacations!).

  1. How beautiful God made this world.—On this vacation, I was fortunate and blessed enough to witness some of God’s beautiful creatures. Some of the most interesting things I saw in nature were: waterfalls, birds, flowers, and many, many trees! All these things reminded me how blessed we all are to live on such a beautiful planet. This vacation also has helped motivate me to be more environmentally conscious to help preserve the earth. Even a sunrise and a sunset each day have beauty not only because of the bright colors but also because it is a reminder that we are indeed able to still be alive on this planet and make some positive difference in this world!
  2. Get to know people before you judge them. This will enable hearts to be opened to receive love and respect.—At first, when we met the people with us on our trip, most people seemed more reserved and kept to themselves more. However, as time went on and we did more together, people seemed to be increasingly open and friendly to each other. When people let down their guards and set aside their initial impressions, I learned that this allowed us to love and respect each other more because we better understood where the other was coming from and thus were more open and willing to learn from each other.  I believe that if we all strived to really get to know and understand people better before having any type of snap judgment against them, this world would be a much more unified and loving place.
  3. When we strive to understand each other, rather than be selfish or rude, love can thrive and grow!—I admit that when things don’t go my way, I am very tempted to become self-focused. However, when I try to understand others better, I found that my love for them grows as God’s love and compassion in me are able to better flow through me, rather than my selfish, sinful self. The same goes for everyone else. I have been blessed to see people from my trip reach out to one another in unexpected ways, such as a.) Someone on our trip took pictures for someone when they were unable to so that they would remember the good times had with the other members of our trip. B.) The tour leader offering to help people with their flights and accommodations, often going above and beyond to make this possible. He also checked the weather the day before so to make sure no flights were being canceled or delayed, and if they were, he let us know in a prompt manner. C) Someone offering their seat in the front, so that others could sit there too.  These little things and more helped me to gain love and respect for everyone on this trip. What good deed can you do for the people that you encounter today? What have others done for you to gain your love and respect for them?

Overall, this vacation I took has been one of the best and most rewarding thus far. I will strive never to forget these lessons that I believe God has taught me and all the people on my trip that have touched my life in a very special way. Have you ever had the chance to take a memorable vacation or have you met remarkable people in your life before? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

My Pet Peeves (and how to avoid them!)

Disclaimer: Please, no disparaging comments about me or any of the commenters, or your comment will be deleted and blocked.  

Most people have at least one thing that annoys them about life or about other people. These are the things that make us tick. However, as with most things, we can either let them ruin our day, or we can persevere despite them. I want to be able to constantly choose the latter.  These pet peeves of mine may not be all exhaustive, but they are some of my major ones.  A pet peeve is something someone finds annoying or unpleasant.  Here are some of my pet peeves, why they annoy me, and how to avoid or cope with them.

  1. One of my major pet peeves is when someone tells me that they will do something, but then they don’t deliver on their promise.–I hate this because I feel like I am being lied to when people promise something but fail to do it. I know this is often not intentional, but it still hurts nonetheless.  If you PROMISE me something, you had better do it if you don’t want to annoy or upset me.  The exceptions are if you are sick or have a family emergency. Otherwise, do not promise me anything, or say something like, ” I will do x, God willing!, meaning if God allows it to happen, then you will do it.
  2. When people pretend to be someone or something that they are not.–Again, I hate when people are fake to me or pretend to be my friend to “make me feel better.”  I would rather have someone tell me up front that they don’t like me than to be “fake-friends” with me. Note: You will not make me feel better unless your friendship and love is genuine and from the heart. If I find out that you are faking being nice to me, I will attempt to avoid interacting with you for a very long time! Just be real with me.
  3. When people don’t respect my (or other people’s ) property.–I hate when people rifle through my things or read personal stuff I wrote without my permission! That is just so disrespectful! If you want to read something that is personal, that is not on a public platform like this blog, ask first before even glancing at it!  There may be a reason why it’s personal. Also, please don’t mess up my stuff. It is in a certain order for a reason so I can find everything without wondering where you put it.  I also hate it when people do this to others! It just seems so invasive and unnecessary. Of course, I also hate it when people steal others’ (or my) stuff. If you really need something, ask first. Usually, I will either let you have it or let you borrow it. If the person doesn’t want to give x thing to you, respect that or ask someone else.  Make an honest living.  Never steal.
  4. The phrase, “Don’t do what I do, do what I say.”–This phrase irritates me to no end.  It is often used as a cop-out by people in authority who don’t want to be held accountable for their actions, and it is often used to excuse hypocrisy. As you know from some of my other pet peeves, I hate when people are being fake and/or two-faced.  I am a firm believer that your words and actions should match.  If you are in a position of authority, never ever use this phrase for any reason if you want people to actually listen to you. Even seeing these words in print irritates me. Hearing them would be even worse, and is a huge turnoff to want to do anything you say to me.  If one wants to be a good teacher, he or she must lead by example. Always and forever.
  5. When someone complains about a person, but they have never worked to resolve the issue or issues with him or her. —This annoys me because you are not only slandering and/or gossiping about him or her, but things will never get better. It is different if you have tried to resolve the issue, but the person won’t budge.  I don’t want to hear about how x person is mean or nasty, but you have never tried to resolve the issue or really tried to find the best in that person. I say: Try to resolve the issue first then complain to people if the resolution doesn’t work.
  6. When scammers/telemarketers call and you have already asked them once to not call.— Dear any telemarketers here, I understand you must meet a quota and sell your things. However, if I ask you nicely once that I am not interested, do NOT call me 20 times to “hopefully change my mind.” Also, don’t call me when I am eating or having family time. It ruins the whole event. Also, I’ve made up my mind already. I don’t want to buy/am not interested in whatever you offer.  Thank you and have a nice day.
  7. When technology doesn’t work.–I hate it especially when the computer freezes or access online is not possible. I know I may be *slightly* addicted, but I do need these things for a.) blogging b.) looking up my work schedule c.) ministering to others online or talking to friends that live 1,000 miles away from me.  The only things I would suggest so that technology does work again is a.) Try to fix it yourself b.) call your Internet provider, and see if it is a problem with them c.) call a computer technician and pay to have it fixed.
  8. Slow or reckless drivers.--I don’t like it when drivers are, for instance, going 30 in a 45 mph speed limit road. First of all, it is unsafe to drive too slow (just as it is when you drive too fast). Second of all, all of us need to get to point B in a reasonable amount of time.  Also, people who cut me off and almost hit my car and then speed off annoy me. I don’t mind it as much if you cut me off, but please be careful not to hit my car, ok?  If you do, please take responsibility for what you have done and don’t speed off like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal. I need my car to be able to get to and from work on time. Be considerate.

These are just some of my pet peeves. What are some of yours, and how can we avoid pet “peeving” you? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

 

How To Fight Against Human Degradation

According to writer Jon Bloom, from DesiringGod.org, Playboy magazine founder, Hugh Hefner, who died about a week ago at the age of 91, “destroyed millions [of souls].” This is because he was known to propel the pornography industry from its dark dungeons into mainstream society today, with all its philosophies and fantasies.  Indeed, as a society, we have delved into the depths of apathy and selfishness. With these vices, naturally, humans are being degraded at an alarming rate.  There are 45 million slaves in the world today. That is more than five times the population of New York City! Many of them are being sold to be instruments of men’s disgusting, unspeakable “pleasures.” Even if one is not in slavery, there are still many ways humans are being degraded, from the words people use to describe each other to how some people physically attack another.  If we are to value each other and bring hope and love back to the entire human race, change must start with us.  We must, as Mathma Ghandi has said in numerous sources, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Here are some practical ways I find that are effective in fighting against human degradation and devaluation.:

  1. Value and take time to verbally (and also in writing) thank the people who have made a positive impact in your life. –Many people, whether at home, at school, in the workplace, or in any other place of service, don’t hear many words of appreciation when they do something positive and are condemned almost instantly when they do something even just a bit wrong or sinful. Even if you think these people already have been acknowledged, thank them for their positive role in your life anyway. Not only is it good manners, it could make someone’s day-and even influence positively the trajectory of the person’s entire life!
  2. Never ever use someone just for your own benefit and pleasure.–We all have been guilty of this in one way or another.  For instance, if you are only friends with someone just to get something from them, STOP! Not only are you reducing their humanity, but you are also being fake.  Be genuine and aware of your motives for doing things. If you want to care for or be kind to someone, be sure you are doing it with no strings attached.  Do it for the sake of doing right to them and because you want them to be happy, not to get something out from them. Doing kind things without expecting anything in return also motivates us to continue doing so, even if things get tough or if the recipient is ungrateful.
  3. Support social justice organizations like International Justice Mission or A21, which work to help free people who have been sold into sexual or other types of slavery and that help them rebuild their lives.–You can either contribute financially or volunteer your time in some way to these organizations, so their good work can continue. You can also spread the word about these organizations and about the seriousness of the human trafficking problem by signing petitions, organizing awareness marches, bringing it up in conversation, and if you are spiritual, praying for these organizations and the people they are helping.
  4. Refrain from supporting or participating in any form of human degradation.–This means everything from refusing to look at any pornographic images to standing up for anyone who is being bullied or abused in any way.  For instance, if you see someone bullying someone else at school or in the workplace, condemn the act immediately and stand up for the victim! Do not be a bystander or even worse, participate in the bullying or teasing yourself!  Also, do not support any media platform which glorifies the degradation of others in any way.  For instance, if a movie or television show promotes or romanticizes people being degraded, either physically or verbally, don’t watch it!  This is why I personally have made a commitment to not knowingly watch a movie or television show that emphasizes and promotes sexual and other types of violence anymore.  There is way too much degradation and devaluation in the “real world” already, why would I want it to enter my fantasy life too? This is not to be “prudish” or to judge those that enjoy watching or listening to these types of things, but to emphasize the need for all of us, me included, to value people more by thinking of people as beings with precious souls, not tools to be used for our own selfish desires.

Human degradation is a big problem in the world today, but if we each do our part to help combat it, the devaluation will slowly fade away. Yes, it seems like a gargantuan task to accomplish, and no one can fight this alone.  Together, though, we can each do something small (i.e.. eating a giant candy bar, one bite at a time, so to speak) to chip away at this problem. Then, the people around us will feel more valued and loved again, and they will see that there is still love and hope in this world.

sources:

1)http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/one-man-s-dream-destroyed-millions

2) https://www.ijm.org/slavery

My Good Friends: Qualities We Should Emulate That They Have

I have met many people, and I believe that each person has at least one positive and one negative personality trait.  I also believe that this world needs to cultivate more of the positive traits in people and not focus so much on the negatives.  These are a list of my closest friends, both offline and online, and some of their positive qualities that I believe should be emulated by everyone.  For privacy reasons, I will be using pseudonyms for their names. However, rest assured, these ARE real people I know!

  1. Erica--If you ask her for her opinion, she will give you her honest assessment. She will not dance around the truth or lie to make you feel better. I like that about her. She also strives to be always considerate of others’ feelings and experiences. When I don’t like something, she will not pressure me into it. She will also compromise her wishes for others’ if that would encourage and make them feel better unless of course, it is an issue of morality or her faith in God.
  2. Kelly-– She is generous and kind. She will listen to you when you tell her something that is important to you.  She almost always has fun activities and/or meals made whenever I visit her. I always feel that I can relate to her struggles because of her openness and honesty about them. She is one of my favorite friends with whom to spend time.
  3. Veronica--One of the first things I saw about her that has left a lasting, good impression on me is her utter joy and love for people and for life. 90% of the time she has a big smile on her face. Due to privacy reasons, I will not show you her face, but I wish I could because whenever she comes into a room her joy, humor, and love just light up the room! When I first met her, unfortunately, I wasn’t as joyful as she was. In fact, I was still slightly depressed. However, as time goes on, I have wanted to emulate her (as well as encourage others to, too) in her positive attitude towards life and people.
  4. Jennifer–Jennifer is my friend from work. She has always been patient and kind to me, even when I have been stressed. Additionally, she has the right words to say to encourage me and help me through issues. She also allows me to vent without judgment or condemnation when I am having a bad day.  I enjoy hanging out with her because of her great love for others and me, and that she has been a loyal friend to me.
  5. Terri–Terri is a newer, but great, friend that I met when I first started attending my current church. She always prays for others and has compassion for those in need.  She is vibrant and passionate about her faith in Christ, yet she isn’t pushy or preachy.  She devotes her life to serving God and others in what she does, says, and thinks.  When I had an issue at work, she would always pray for and/or encourage me through it.
  6. Anna– Anna is one of my online friends. She knows how to encourage people and validate them.  She also strives to persevere through life despite illness and other difficulties that may come her way.  I also love how she is passionate (like me) to make sure people with mental health issues get treated better and more like humans, instead of like animals that have to be caged or controlled.
  7. Betty- Betty was my discipler at my former church.  What I appreciate most about her is that she is always honest about things and does not shy away from the truth. She is also caring for me, even being willing to visit me at work when she had only a few days with her family when she was in my town.
  8. K--Like Erica, K always tells you the truth when you ask her opinion on something. She is also very supportive of others and me and is always willing to be there for me when I need to chat. She doesn’t take nonsense or manipulation,  but if you have a legitimate need that she can provide, I believe she will do that for you. Like me, she loves animals and has two pets of her own. Unfortunately, for me, I cannot have pets right now, but I would love to someday.
  9. Ted— Ted is another one of my friends at work.  Like Jennnifer, he always allows me to open up about stressful issues without judging or condemning me. He also helps me with my work when he has time and because he believes that we should work as a team. He is also one of the hardest workers at my workplace, coming in even when he was in physical pain sometimes! I wish more people would have such determination and drive to persevere despite tough circumstances, including me!
  10. Holly- Holly has taught me so much about life! She is a master validator and supporter of others, even though she hasn’t been supported as much herself.  She always knows the right words to say to make people feel loved and encouraged. She is also very intelligent in her words and in her speech.  If you ever read her works, you would think she was a graduate student!  She has also taught me to be more compassionate and considerate of others.