How God’s Love Has Changed My Life

When someone or something comes into your life and just changes the course of it forever, they will leave an indelible mark on who you are and the way you see things.  This is what God has done for me personally when He came into my life nearly seventeen years ago.  The more I have gotten to know God, the more He has changed me, and thus my life as well. Here are some ways He has done just that:

  1. He has worked in and through me to help me love people more.–As I have shared in previous posts, before God’s love took hold of my life, I was a very selfish and rigid person. As far as I can remember, as a young child, I don’t really recall me being very compassionate and caring of others. I did not understand why a lot of people refused to be friends with me. However, when God took hold of me, all that changed. Hearing stories about adults being abused as children and some of my peers getting bullied started to really bother and upset me, whereas before I didn’t care as much.  God even showed me the pain some ex-churchgoers experienced as a result of being hurt by professing Christians in churches, and that caused me to help others as I had never done before. In this past year especially, God has really been teaching me how to live more and more for Him and others, and less for just myself.  He is teaching me that I have to sacrifice my own conveniences and comforts for the benefit of others, especially if it would help them.
  2. God has revealed to me things that I need to change about myself and has given me the motivation to change.–The more God has taught me about Himself, life, and myself, the more I realize that I still have a long road ahead of me. This has given me the motivation to continually improve myself and strive for excellence in everything I do because if I thought there was nothing left to improve about myself, I would have little motivation to learn and become better. I don’t believe God reveals these things because He is tyrannical or wanting to smite us but for our own good, as to help us not to hinder our own relationships.  This fact, coupled with the fact, that I believe He is merciful, has helped me want to change for the better.
  3. God’s love has brought me tremendous blessings and abundant joy.—The more I know of God’s love, the more I realize how blessed I am. Yes, things get very difficult for me sometimes, and yes I have been through some trials and struggles. However, I consider myself blessed.  Before God’s love really started to shape and mold me, I had few friends.  I felt alone and was lost.  Now, God has blessed me with the type of support and love through Himself, other Christians, and other good friends of various faiths, that I had never thought existed!  For the first time in my life, I felt understood and loved by people other than just my immediate family!  He has also provided me with a good job in which I can do well.  His love has given me the freedom to enjoy His natural and human creations.  I now feel that I can better enjoy life without fear of being alone and abandoned, and I have the confidence and trust that He will always provide for me no matter what. His love has only proved that!

These are the major ways that God has changed my life.  One of the pastors at my church taught that God’s love for us will never cease and will never go away.  This is the confidence which I personally strive to live my life and share with others. How has God or a loved one’s love changed you? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

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Why Care: Finding Meaning in Life


Being presumptuous, according to my pastor, Pastor David Shoaf (and I agree with him), is having a rebellious and/or an “I-don’t-care” attitude about life and morals.  Many people who have been presumptuous about life or about grievous sins (moral wrongdoing) in my experience, have gone to either jail or have died! For instance, people in ISIS who bomb innocent people just going about their daily lives because they don’t agree with the precepts of their religion have at least a degree of presumptuousness.  They don’t care if their targets have families or what pain in their lives they carry. They just kill because their god told them to (supposedly).  Even though few people are as callous and as uncaring as ISIS suicide bombers or the most vicious murderers out there, we all (me included) need to be cautious of having a presumptuous attitude about life and about morals.  Here is why we should care–particularly about others and what kind of life we are leading. :

  1. Caring about others and the legacy we want to leave brings purpose and meaning to our lives.–Personally, before I became a Christian, I was very selfish and was searching for purpose and meaning in my life. Now, I don’t mean that people who don’t share my Christian faith are selfish and uncaring. On the contrary, I know a lot of people of various beliefs other than my own, who are extremely caring and selfless too. It’s just for me, that was my experience.  However, what I am saying is that if we don’t care about others and what legacy we are leaving, life will feel empty and meaningless.  When I got to that point, I felt like life was no longer worth living.  You can only live for just yourself for so long until you start to think about, “What am I doing? Why am I here with everyone else, when they are not benefiting me?” However, when you start to live for the benefit of others and you start to build a lasting legacy that you want others to follow, life starts to become more exciting because you have an end goal or goals in mind that you want to strive for regularly!
  2. Caring for others and leaving a good legacy changes the world.–One of my faith heroes, Rachel Joy Scott, changed millions of lives because she lived a life of caring for others, especially those who were friendless or otherwise in need. Over 1,000 people attended her funeral, and it was televised on CNN.  Some sources even say it was more attended than the funeral of Princess Diana!  Her father, Darrell Scott, also founded an organization called “Rachel’s Challenge,” which helps promote the lifestyle that Rachel led and discourage bullying.  This organization coupled with Rachel’s influence from her writings and the life she led have helped millions of people.  (source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Scott) When you care for others from your heart, you can change the world for the positive. If you don’t quit caring and living for good, you will leave a good legacy for others to follow after your time on earth is up. I am striving to live to that end. Yes, I may fail (sometimes lots of times). However, when we fail, we have to just get back up and try again and persevere to the end.
  3. Caring for others and leaving a good legacy is ultimately joyful and rewarding.–Even if caring for others sometimes gets exhausting or people don’t appreciate you right away, to care for others ultimately brings you joy and has its rewards.  Seeing others joyful because they know someone (perhaps you!) cares about them ultimately should bring you joy as well.  That is its own reward! Not only that, but a few people may follow your example as well!  This will start a chain reaction of more people caring enough to change the world for the positive and not being apathetic about others or about life. People will start to respect us more because they know we can be counted on to care.

To care about others and about the legacy we are leaving for others to follow are very important because this is one of the major ways we derive meaning to our lives, changes the world, and is ultimately joyful and rewarding not only to the ones we care about but also to us as well.  Who needs your care today? Who can you show love to today?  What legacy do you want to leave? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

Ten Common Myths about Mental Illness and its truths

Everyone has struggles whether it be a physical ailment or disability, a mental illness, financial issues, or other life issues.  I know many people that have struggled with some form of mental illness, some for many, many years.  What I find that all of us who struggle with mental illness have in common is that many people around us believe at least one (if not several) of these commonly held notions about mental illness. Here’s some of them, and the facts that counter these myths:

  1. MYTH: People who struggle with mental illness are “crazy.”  FACT: This is a hurtful and often, untrue characterization of people who struggle.  The fact is that many of us may be depressed and trying to overcome past traumas.  If you were in our shoes, you’d probably react similarly.  Also, we should try to refrain from using the term “crazy” to describe anyone, because it is similar to using the word “retarded” to describe something or someone who you deem “stupid.”
  2. MYTH: People who are suffering from depression, should just learn to “get over it” or “deal with things better.”  FACT:  This is also a very hurtful myth that a lot of people believe. When I am stressed at work, some people (I won’t name names) think I should “just get over it.” The fact is that people suffering from depression or other mental illnesses are often doing the best they can to do better to avoid the stigma that comes from their illness, but they can’t do it alone.  It’s not like we have an on and off switch that makes the illness go away in only one or two days. It often takes years to overcome. Otherwise, we wouldn’t struggle!  What we need is validation. What we need is understanding, someone to come along side and help us.
  3. MYTH: Taking psychiatric medication is sinful (i.e morally wrong). FACT: I don’t understand why certain people in certain religious circles believe this!  They certainly don’t typically believe this about heart medication, or medication to treat ulcers! If something is wrong with the wiring in your brain, you need to treat it somehow. Therapy doesn’t always work for this, nor is it always effective.  If you take medication for heart problems, for instance, then taking psychiatric medication should also be morally permissible, no questions asked.
  4. MYTH: People who hurt themselves (i.e self-injure) are often doing it for attention. FACT: First of all, many people I know who hurt themselves don’t want the attention. They just want to be loved and understood.  This is why in my own research, I have found that people who self-injure often hide their scars underneath clothing or other things. If they really wanted attention,  they would probably not even bother to hide anything! A lot of my friends I know who struggle with self-injury have a low sense of self-worth and may be self-injuring to relieve unbearable pain and anguish. Again, validation, love and genuine support are the keys to help them be able to stop self-harming.
  5. MYTH: When someone is considering self-harm or suicide, you should always call an ambulance so they can get the help they need. FACT: This is only true if they are actively suicidal or planning to do major self-harm.  Some (but certainly not all) people use this method as a cop-out so that they don’t have to actively support and encourage them themselves. Many people don’t know how or simply don’t really care.  Yes, it can be emotionally difficult to care for a person struggling with these deep issues, and you shouldn’t do it all alone. However, unless the person is actively considering major self-harm or being actively suicidal, calling an ambulance or sending them to the hospital, may create more problems for them in the end than good.  First of all, the mentally ill are often not treated well in hospitals, because people are afraid they will become violent or self-destructive.  However, if we took the time to try to understand and love them better, sending them to the hospital would not be needed. Also, a lot of mentally ill people are in therapy, so if you don’t have the emotional energy needed to support them, actively encourage them to talk to their therapist or doctor before they do anything harmful to themselves.
  6. MYTH: People struggling with depression or anxiety should just “get out more.” FACT: If we could, we would. The truth is these illnesses are often debilitating and disabling. This is often why it is a struggle to “get out and enjoy life.” What we need is guidance and a gradual introduction to the “real world” when we are better and are able.  What we need is encouragement and understanding from loved ones, who will be there when we want to talk about what’s going on inside our minds.
  7. MYTH: (A lot of people may believe this in one form or another, or unconsciously) People with mental illnesses are emotionally “weak” or “lazy.” FACT: This couldn’t be further from the truth! I’ve heard a lot of people imply or even say to me that because I get stressed about certain things or cry sometimes, that I am a “weak” person emotionally. The truth is that people who suffer from mental illnesses are often the ones that have had to deal with the most emotional baggage in their lives. Many have experienced abuse or bullying, or both, during some period in their lives.  Some of them have experienced deep, personal losses.  The fact that we are able to cry and “open” up shows that we are not weak, and in fact, strong and not afraid to be vulnerable to others.  Often, being able to let the feelings come out and talk about things with people, is the first step towards healing and dealing with underlying issues.
  8. MYTH: People suffering from mental illness just need therapy. FACT: Therapy can be very useful and helpful, but it is not a “one-size fits all measure” for everyone suffering from mental illness. Some people have struggled with getting the right therapist because of continuing stigma against their illness. For instance, someone who has a borderline personality might not be understood by a lot of therapists because of the commonly held notion in the medical community that they are very difficult to deal with and understand.  Also, therapy alone is often not the answer. We need not only therapy but often times medication and a strong support system to help us through the tough days.
  9. MYTH: People who suffer from mental illness are more likely to be violent, so we need to put protective measures in place. FACT: This myth irritates me more than some of the other myths out there! Yes, there may be a few mentally ill people who can get violent, but most of them are not violent at all.  To treat everyone who is mentally ill like wild animals needing to be caged is not only perpetuating this myth, but I believe it is inhumane as well.  I have heard of people being chained to their beds even though they wouldn’t hurt even a fly!  Or that they can’t enjoy music because the medical facilitators are afraid they may hurt themselves with earbuds! If one is that afraid, then watch them. Don’t suck the enjoyment out of an already bad and stressful experience for them!
  10. MYTH: Referring to people who struggle with mental illness: “It’s all in their heads.” FACT: Mental illness does not only affect people mentally but physically as well. For instance, in addition to feeling bad mentally,  people with clinical depression often don’t eat or sleep well, can have headaches, cramps, or an upset stomach, or feel much more physically exhausted than usual. (source: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-symptoms-causes#1).  Also, people with anxiety disorders often experience physical ailments as well, such as sweaty palms, palpitations, nausea, dry mouth, shortness of breath, and sleeping problems. (source: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/anxiety-disorders#1-3 )

These are just some of the commonly-held myths about people suffering from mental illness. I think we need to remove stigma about these illnesses and treat everyone, including people afflicted with mental illness, with more love and compassion.  What are other myths you have noticed people believing about mental illness? What can we do to dispel them? Please feel free to discuss in comments. Absolutely NO disparaging comments or your comment will be deleted! Thank you.

Some people, places, and things that give me joy

I will be discussing WHY these give me joy. These are in no particular order or ranking. These things are not all exhaustive either.

  1. God—He is my light and my salvation. He is the source of my joy. He’s awesome!
  2. my family–all of them 🙂 They have been there for me through thick and thin. They have been exceedingly generous and caring for me.
  3. hanging out with my friends–all of them, you know who you are 🙂 They have been there for me too. I enjoy having deep spiritual conversations and just talking about life with them. I have enjoyed spending time with them by watching movies, shopping and eating at restaurants with them or just going over to each others’ homes.
  4. my online friends—Kat, Kassi and Abbey.  You have been a great love and support to me. Your validation and grace have meant a lot to me when my other supports were lacking. So, thank you.
  5. my managers at work--Each one of them has given me some measure of joy and taught me the value of hard work. I have learned so much from each one of you, so thank you.
  6. my blogging community--I don’t know where I would be without you, the valued reader.  You are awesome! 🙂
  7. sunshine-–I love the sun! It makes the day so much brighter and lovely. I love being outside when the temperature is nice and it’s sunny out.
  8. animals—I love dogs, cats, and all types of animals. The only one that I really don’t prefer is the Canadian goose.  I love that they don’t judge you and how uniquely precious God made each one.
  9. butterflies–I like how intricate and beautiful God made them. Unfortunately, I rarely see those! 😦
  10. the teachings of the Bible and how it illumines the greatness of God–I love that when I follow the Bible’s teachings seriously that I find that I have more joy and peace in my life. I also like that it exalts God and reflects how much He has done in others’ lives, including my own.
  11. flowers-–I like all the different colors and types of flowers there are in the world. I love seeing a whole bunch of them together in nature (a.k.a,  a garden).
  12. church–I love my church. I recently became a member, and I don’t regret it one bit! I love both the people and the building.  I love singing the hymns and the pastors’ sermons are always relevant to my life. Even the guest speakers are good!  I’ve learned so much from my current church, including how to have a good devotional time with God.
  13. writing–I love writing and sharing what I’ve learned with others. I hope the readers of this blog will be a.) inspired to write about their own experiences and things they have learned in life. b.) take away something from this blog to apply to their own lives. I also like writing poetry sometimes.
  14. Chinese food-— I love Chinese food. I like how the dishes have a lot of vegetables and are tasty.  I also love any Chinese noodle dishes, though I also like the rice dishes and most of the other dishes as well.
  15. Mexican food--I love the cheese in Mexican dishes and all the different flavors they use in their dishes.  Yum…
  16. Moomin characters— I love the cuteness of Moomin characters and that they always seem to want to learn new things and go on new adventures. Also, the books that are based on these characters are also very good, and one is able to escape from the pressures of life in these books.
  17. stuffed teddy bears—I love teddy bears. They are the cutest darndest stuffed animals in the world.
  18. People serving others.–I love when people help others in need. For instance, I think the outpouring of love and support to those impacted by Hurricane Harvey is nothing short of amazing. If you would like to be a part of this, please see this post for more information.
  19. birds chirping-–I love the sound of birds chirping. It is such a peaceful sound to me and tells me that everything is alive and well.
  20. VeggieTales–especially the banter between Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato. 🙂 ‘Nuff said.
  21. Beautiful scenery--including forests, forests with a mountain backdrop, the oceans, lakes, and rivers (as long as it doesn’t look polluted), flowers, jungles, etc…
  22. encouraging notes and letters— I love validation and encouragement. I also love giving the same to others.
  23. Christian Music–I love how the music has meaningful lyrics and encourages me in my walk with God. The music is part of what propelled my search for God before I became a Christian!
  24. authenticity--I love when people don’t have pretenses about who they are and are loving and caring for me because they want to, not because they have to or have some type of ulterior motives. I also love it when people can be honest with me and not lie about who they are or what they think.
  25. reconciliation in relationships–I consider it not only a relief but a blessing when I am able to reconcile with someone, or when I see two people, in general, reconcile with each other after a difficult period in their relationship, whether a friendship, a romantic relationship or other types of relationships.
  26. caring customers at work--I love it when customers are patient, kind, considerate and thankful for the work not only that I put in every day, but also others with whom I work. I love it when they say “thank you.” I am particularly appreciative of customers who take the time to fix the displays they look at without being expected or asked.
  27. a good rest or nap— Makes me so refreshed and joyful to be able to have a good night’s rest (or afternoon nap on my days off).
  28. books–I love to read about a variety of subjects. However, I read mostly non-fiction. My favorites right now are Christian living, food recipes, travel guides, conflict resolution in the workplace, and biographies or autobiographies.
  29. magazines–I love to read magazines on similar subjects as above.  I also like writing magazines to better this blog and to further my writing endeavors.
  30. trees-I like trees not only because they provide shade but also because they are beautiful and strong, just like I want to be.

 

Soul Invasion

I wrote this poem on 9/8/2017. This is about how God changed my life and filled my soul.  It can be also be seen as the love of a romantic partner or friend, but for me, this is more God’s great love for me that filled my soul and made it whole!

Soul Invasion

You created a spark in my heart

That could never be burnt out

You etched your love in me

That would always be

 

Your whole Being invaded my soul

Chasing away the hurt and pain

That threatened to doom me forever

And drive me insane

 

Your entire Being permeates my soul

And makes me happily whole

‘Til your amazing love oozes out of me

Like a lush, flowing stream of pure water

When We Have to Do Something: Caring for others in trouble

Earthquakes. Famines. Wars and rumors of wars.  Pestilences.  Heartache. Betrayal. Strife among people. Hatred and apathy. The problems in the world can seem very overwhelming at times. When we compound it with our own problems, they can seem unbearable! In fact, sometimes things can seem so insurmountable, we do and say nothing.  We are paralyzed with fear and anguish.  However, all these things can also propel us to right action, if we know how to help some of those in need.  Here are some situations either in the world around us or perhaps in our own lives that can seem “big” or “heavy,”  but we can redeem for the benefit of those involved in these problems. Here’s how YOU can personally make a difference:

The natural disasters in the world

  1. If you are spiritual, pray for those affected by the wildfires in California and surrounding areas, the hurricanes that have ravaged or are ravaging Texas, parts of Lousiana, Florida, Puerto Rico, and the Carribean Islands.  Pray that they will be provided with all that they need and for replacement of all that was lost. Pray for peace, comfort, and strength for those affected by the storms and their families that are concerned about them.
  2. Donate to a reputable organization that will give (and are giving) to those in need in the affected areas.  Some of them are: a.) Red Cross b.) Convoy of Hope c.) others. <—this article of organizations focuses on relief for Hurricane Harvey, but many of these help people affected by the other disasters as well.
  3. If you can, go to these affected areas and volunteer in the rebuilding and the relief efforts there.
  4. Spread awareness for these people being ravaged by these catastrophic events.  Let people know that these people are hurting and in need of help. That way, everyone will be aware of what’s happening and can also help in any way they are able.

Those affected by abuse and bullying

  1. Never ever blame the abuse or bullying survivor for the abuse. — Remind them that the abuse was not their fault.  Abuse is totally and will always be the abuser’s fault.  They are able to control their actions. No one can make someone else abuse another.
  2. Encourage the survivor of their inherent value.-– Many times abuse survivors have been made to feel worthless and useless, even unworthy of love.  If we want to be allies to these people, we remind them of their inherent pricelessness again!  This not only means that if they do something right, praise them, but also reminding and demonstrating to them they are still priceless and loved even if they make a mistake or sin. We can do this by helping them through their failures and doubts, and by striving to be committed to being there for them whenever they need us.
  3. Make sure to model good boundaries to them.— This means striving not to control or manipulate them in any way. Bullied and abused people usually (if not always) have had their boundaries or safety violated in some way, and their trust shattered.  Do not attempt to make decisions for them, unless you are already in a position of authority over them. Never use them to your own ends, otherwise, they will feel abused all over again, by you!  For instance, if you want to show affection to them, but they are hesitant to, respect them and restrain your wants and desires.  This is not about you! If you wrong them or make a mistake, sincerely apologize to them and commit to never repeating the same mistake again. Show you can be trusted.

EDIT: Many, but NOT all, people who have been abused also struggle with mental health issues because of the trauma. It is important to note though, that NOT all people with mental health problems have been abused. But if someone you know has been abused AND is struggling with mental illness, this is a GREAT resource: https://ashipofmyownmaking.wordpress.com/2017/09/12/10-ways-you-can-help-a-mentally-ill-friend/

Those affected by poverty

  1. Donate to reputable organizations such as the Red Cross and Unicef. –These organizations help by giving much-needed food and water to those in need.
  2. When you give to them, expect nothing back.–When you give to the poor, whether your time or finances, make sure it is with pure motives. Do not give to them, just to get a tax break, or to get something in return from them later.  Give because it is the right thing to do. Give because it gives you joy to see them happy and fulfilled. Do it for them, not yourself.
  3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter or other organization—Look for opportunities in your area to help those affected by poverty.  One organization, for those living in the Chicagoland area, is called Feed My Starving Children. They pack food for people in need around the world. You can help by volunteering to help pack these meals. Their website is: https://volunteer.fmsc.org/register/
  4. Spread awareness about the issue of poverty.–Write about the struggles of people living in poverty, not to embarrass or shame them, but so that people will know how serious an issue it is, and also to dispel myths about people living in poverty. I know a lot of people who think that if you live in poverty, you must be lazy and/or uneducated. However, I have found through my own research and listening to others’ experiences, that this is often not the case, and the causes of poverty are more complicated that one thinks.

These are just some ways to care about people in need. What are some ways you can think of to help those in need? Encourage and love someone today. You can perhaps help save a life!

People are Gifts: How to Value Others

This is a kind of part two to the post about how you are precious.  So,  not only we are precious, but others around us are as well. I have often observed in society a disturbing trend where some people are treating others as if they were disposable. Sometimes, I must admit, that I am tempted to do the same. I have heard disturbing stories about parents who have abused and/or killed their child or children in the name of convenience or revenge on their ex-partner or spouse.  In the workplace, I have heard of countless cases where the work being done is not ever appreciated or met with a “thank you,” but instead criticized or complained about because it isn’t met to perfect standards. Divorce and infidelity in marriage are very commonplace, especially here in the U.S, but other countries it is starting to become more common as well. How do we then take a stand against treating others as disposable and instead treating them like the gifts they are? Here are a few things I found effective in us leading the way in treating other people with value and dignity, instead of as commodities for our own selfish pleasures:

  1. View people as gifts to be treasured instead of commodities or annoyances.– What if we looked at each person we encountered today as a gift from God instead of as an inconvenience or as a commodity? I believe that every person we encounter is sent to teach us something about ourselves or about life. If we get to engage with a loved one or a friend, he or she is teaching us the value of joy, love, and friendship. If we have to engage with a difficult person, he or she is teaching us to be patient and challenging us how to love without expecting anything back.  Also, every person we encounter, I believe, is put in our paths for a reason. For instance, I believe I met my current manager *Chris (NOT his real name) not only so I could get a job but also teach me how to love better and so God could refine my character through him, and help me grow in my job there. The pastors at my church were put on my life’s path (I believe) to help me further grow in my faith and to help support me in my life’s journey. Also, the pastors have helped me think of others more and I was put on their path to help serve with them too.
  2. Be grateful for every person who does something good, either to you or for the benefit of others.— At my job, for instance, if a customer goes out of their way to help me pick up a display that I accidentally dropped, I would say something like, ” Thank you for going out of your way to help me pick the display items up. I really appreciate that.” The customer doesn’t have to do that for me, but if he or she does, it shows that he or she is a decent and caring person, and we should applaud people like that, not only because they deserve it but also to encourage them to continue their thoughtful actions.  If your child (if you are a parent) does something praiseworthy like cleaning up their room without being asked, or helping you cook a meal, you should teach them gratitude by expressing yours.  This will not only lift the child’s spirit but also model gratitude that they can and should imitate if they see someone else do good to them or to others they care about.
  3. Know that each person is unique and cannot be replaced by anyone.–In a society where people are often not valued, we often fall for the lie that someone can be replaced by someone else.  Yes, in a job situation, people are replaced all the time by others. Even so, we should be careful not to fall into this “replacement mentality” and let it influence how we treat other people.  For instance, I had often wanted people I didn’t like or didn’t get along with to be replaced by another “nicer” person. I did not care about learning from them (much to my disadvantage) or finding value in them. This is how most people I have encountered think.  However, if I had instead thought about how I could learn from them and how even they are unique and special, I would have been able to get out of that negative mindset sooner.  No one, not even identical twins, has exactly the same DNA as another.  Everyone is unique. Treat others as precious, because once someone is gone from this earth, you won’t see them on this side of the dirt again.

These are some ways we can value each person as precious. We all have value, even the people we don’t like or see eye to eye with all the time.  Everyone is a gift to be treasured. Enjoy and value your gifts today!

Why YOU are precious

With approximately 6 billion people on this planet, it is easy to feel overlooked and unimportant to everyone, or anyone, for that matter. Feeling overlooked and unappreciated can lead one to take desperate measures to feel more loved and important, such as conforming to one’s peer group even if they don’t agree with what is being said or done, or doing something, positive or negative, to gain someone else’s love and appreciation. Some have already given up the search, and have delved into addiction and numbing, to ease their pain of feeling unloved and overlooked.  However, we don’t have to–if we know how precious we are, both in (I believe) God’s sight and others’ sight.

Here are some reasons why every human you encounter (yes, including yourself) is very precious:

  1. Every human being has a complex, intricate body. (source:  http://www.dandydesigns.org/id57.html)– For instance, think of the complexity of the brain itself, having (count them!) three trillion nerve cells being coordinated by it!  We have 131 million nerve receptors in our eyes! We have 35 million gland cells in our digestive tract so that it will digest food and not itself.  Think of all the muscles it takes to walk or to smell, to sleep, or even to eat! Wow! We have a complex body.  Think about it for yourself…
  2. Every human being has something to teach us.–Whether the person has boundless energy or is bedbound, we can learn some great things when we interact with another person.  I have learned so much from those around me, including, but not limited to, my family and friends, my co-workers, my managers, and even customers I only meet once. We not only learn the basics like their name, their interests, and maybe about their families but sometimes also their personalities and how to better relate to them. This is true even with the people we don’t get along with well. For instance, I have had some peers who made fun of me and tormented me during my years in school, but what I learned from them is how NOT to be, and to instead value others as people and not commodities.
  3. Every human being has something to contribute to society.-–Whether the person is always up and about and works 80 hours a week, or is bedbound because he or she is very sick, he or she can contribute to society. How can the bed bound person contribute to society, one may ask? They can contribute by. a.) Helping the able bodied people appreciate what they have more.  b.) Through prayer, if the bed bound person is spiritual. c.) Helping the able-bodied person be able to be a blessing and serve the bed bound person.  The person who is always up and about, of course, contributes by working hard and by serving others.  Whether bedbound, disabled, or able-bodied, no human being is worthless! We all have infinite value.
  4. Every human being has a story to tell.–Everybody I have met has a story to tell us. In their stories, we can not only learn more about them and life but how their stories weave into our own.  For instance, when I met my friend V, she just moved from another state, and I had been in my now former church for a couple of years. I welcomed her, and as time went on, learned more about her life story (her family, how she got to where she was, her future plans and goals, etc…) and it interwove with mine (She got to know who my family was, my future plans and goals, and how I got to where I was..). This can be repeated for every human being I have ever encountered, not just my family and friends. It can be even a brief encounter, but once we meet someone and learn their story, our lives intersect, in a way, forever.

So whether you are White, Black, or another race or ethnicity, tall or short, fat or thin, rich or poor, or any other human identifier, you are indeed a very precious human being.  Because we are so precious, let us treat each other that way, and not as commodities to be used, but as the treasures we all are.  Who can you love today?

PS: This is the 100th post! 🙂 I wanted to commemorate all the readers of this blog with this post!

Why Respecting Others’ Boundaries is Important

In the news, Hillary Clinton is quoted as wanting to say about President Donald Trump during one of the Presidential debates, ” “Back up, you creep. Get away from me. I know you love to intimidate women, but you can’t intimidate me, so back up.’ ” According to the linked article (link below), President Trump reportedly bragged about groping women, and several women have complained about his inappropriate behavior towards them.  When even the President of the U.S has issues respecting other boundaries, as reported on the NBC news website, we, as a society, also need to learn and re-learn how to respect other’s boundaries as well. For a related post, see this post. Here’s why:

  1.  Respecting others’ boundaries makes others feel safe around you.—Have you ever had someone touch you without your permission and made you feel uncomfortable? I have—more times than I can count. A long time ago, a random guy followed me around in the place where I used to work and started touching me (but not my private parts) in ways that made me feel uncomfortable.  He obviously didn’t give a care that I was uncomfortable and felt unsafe around him. If he wanted to date me or become friends with me, he should have not touched me in the way he did and just made small talk with me. If I didn’t want him around, he should have respected me by leaving me alone! There are several people I know that don’t like to be touched, so I don’t. This is not because I don’t care for them or like them. Quite the opposite, in fact! By not touching people that don’t like to be touched, I am respecting their boundaries.
  2. Respecting other people’s boundaries shows that you respect them as a person, and are not going to treat them as a commodity.–By respecting others’ boundaries, whether it is their touch-boundaries, their belongings, or other types of boundaries, you respect them as a fellow image bearer of God. When one does not respect another’s boundary, what they are saying essentially is, ” I will make the decision(s) for you.  I will touch your belongings or your body (or etc…) whether you like it or not. I don’t care about what you want or need from me. It’s all about me and my wants here!” This is a very self-centered, and, quite frankly, a rude way to think!  This is what we do though when we don’t respect another person’s boundaries. However, if we do respect another’s boundaries, we are saying, ” I respect you and your autonomy. I trust you to make your own decisions.  I care about what you want and need, so I will treat you as a person, and not as a commodity for my own selfish purposes.”
  3. Respecting others’ boundaries can inspire positive change as people see your example.–I believe the movement to free sex slaves out of their misery and buy their freedom stem from this concept.  When people see that you consistently respect others’ boundaries, some people will start imitating your example, and thus you can inspire change. For instance, in feminist circles, we have this concept called “rape culture” that stems from the disrespect of other’s boundaries, and feminists have done so much to help combat this culture through not only educating people about creating a culture of consent but also modeling what it means to respect others’ boundaries.

So this is why we should respect others’ boundaries. Not only will it make people feel safe and valued but it will also create a culture where everyone’s boundaries are respected and cherished. How can we better respect others’ boundaries in our lives? What steps can we take? Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

source: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/hillary-clinton-says-my-skin-crawled-during-debate-trump-n795136

My Life’s Journey: Dreams Shattered and Redefined

It’s amazing how God brought me to where I am today. What I thought my current life was going to be in the past is nothing like where it is today. Though much of my past dreams and goals have been shattered, I have never been happier and more fulfilled. This is the journey God has brought me on and I believe He continues to do amazing things in my life, despite the obstacles and pain I have felt in my life. Here’s what I thought in the past, and how God and life’s circumstances have redefined these thoughts:

  1. When I was younger, I thought to be successful career-wise and making a lot of money was important, especially the former part. –So, during my childhood and teenage years, I wanted to be everything from an astronaut to a microbiologist.  So, I wanted to go to a prestigious college to make that happen. Obviously, none of that came to fruition.  I did go to college and have some jobs, but nothing even close to my childhood “dream jobs.” I’m not that successful (at least in my mind) career- wise and still have a long way to go, but what I have realized is that it doesn’t matter that much anymore. Sure, I still want very much to be successful and excel in my current job, but I will never be a doctor or a microbiologist.  However, God has been using me for a greater purpose than my own selfish desires.  And in that, I feel fulfilled and happy.
  2. When I was younger, I longed to be loved and accepted by my peers and others around me. —When I was growing up, I didn’t have a lot of close friends.  I often felt alone and excluded. I was often the last (or one of the last) to be picked for team activities at school.  In addition, I was often bullied and teased by my peers and manipulated by several people for their own selfish pleasures.  I felt worthless and unappreciated.  However, when I became a follower of Christ, that started, albeit slowly, to change for me.  I became a new creation!  (2 Corinthians 5:17) I have only realized (sadly enough) in the past month or so, that I didn’t have to worry about what other people thought of me. I don’t have to strive to be loved and accepted by others anymore because even if everyone I knew left and/or rejected me, I will always be loved and cared about by God. Sure, I still struggle with this concept sometimes, even today, but I feel more loved today than I did even ten years ago! Also, my past experiences of being bullied, teased, and rejected by my peers and others, have helped me to be more compassionate and caring of others around me who have gone through or are going through similar situations.  It has also helped me to persevere through relationships and never give up on people.
  3. When I was younger, I lived primarily for myself and my own desires.–If you met me when I was younger than a teenager, you would have not liked me very much because I was very selfish.  I wanted things done in my time and in my way. I drove people away because I took up so much emotional energy. God redefined my younger-me mindset in a big way because when I met Jesus and even more now, I have realized that life is not about me.  Of course, I still struggle with reverting back to my younger, self-centered mindset sometimes, but then God pricks my conscience and enables me to think of others again.  Now, I want to serve others wholeheartedly and show as many people as possible the love that God gave to me because it is not about me, it’s about Him!  Yes, I often fail at this, but God’s love urges me to try again and then this time succeed in what he has called me. With God’s help, I have made great strides in this area. I am more open to other people’s plans and desires than I was when I was younger, and it’s all to God’s glory and majesty working in my life.

This is just a sampling of my life’s journey. Though many of my past dreams have been shattered, I could not imagine what my life would be like right now. It’s so much more fulfilling than I could have ever dreamed or imagined, and I could have never guessed that God would be such a big part of my life like He is now, and for that I am eternally grateful.