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The Sabbatical

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

I can somewhat relate to Simone Biles, but on a smaller scale, of course. I can relate to the feelings of being overwhelmed and being pressured to be the Best by oneself and those around you. I can also relate to the feeling that you have let everyone down if and when you fail. I can relate to the burdens of having to conform to 1,080 (a hyperbolic estimate) or so expectations of you placed by those around you. However, God used my feelings of stress and overwhelm to teach me many things about being human and coming back stronger.

Last year, in late October, I became so overwhelmed with the pressures and stress of work that I had to take a leave of absence from work. I had just moved from the state where I lived in all my life, about six months prior, and suddenly I felt like everyone had just abandoned me because I didn’t meet their expectations. Additionally, since this was in the midst of the pandemic, I could not attend church or meet new people. I thought my life was over.

However, even though I had significant stress even in my leave, one of the good things God brought me from this situation is to make time for self-care. Often, Olympic athletes like Simon Biles and Kerri Strug are pressured to do so much for others’ viewing pleasure that they are forced to neglect rest and self-care. This needs to change. The Bible says self-love is wrong and is one of the negative qualities listed in 2 Timothy 4. However, I don’t think the Bible means that taking care of one’s physical and emotional health is wrong. What I think was meant by that passage in 2 Timothy is one that is self-indulgent to the point where they neglect others’ needs or that they love themselves in such a way that they become vain and self-serving. Also, not taking care of one’s own emotional and physical needs in order to meet someone else’s expectations could also be considered the self-love that is condemned in the Bible because we are withholding part of ourselves just so that people would see us a certain way or as stronger than we really are.

Another good thing that I learned during my time off work last year is to not worry so much about other people’s expectations of me. One of the things my friend Alex taught me is to be more comfortable in being who God has created me to be, and to weed out those who try to change me into the image that they think I should be. What if we valued these Olympic athletes, and more importantly, those we say we love and cherish the most, by demonstrating in word and deed that they are loved unconditionally? After all, the Lord also loves us unconditionally. It even says in Romans 5:8, “ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (KJV).” Even when we were yet sinners, God loved us. Even when we were actively rejecting Him and His ways, He still loved us.

I still struggle with not worrying about others’ expectations of me, but I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. I am becoming more confident in how God made me, and this has in turn made me more able to minister to others who are struggling.

Through this trial, God also taught me to not be paralyzed by my fears. He has helped me through times even more recently where I felt like my performance at work wasn’t as good as it could be, and not delve into the belief that I am a complete failure. God has made me realize that being true to myself and glorifying Him are more important than meeting all the metrics that people may expect me to meet. Yes, I still want to do the best I can at work performance-wise, but I don’t want to stress if I cannot do as well as I (or others) may expect or want of me. I can also remember what one of my managers said to me, “ I assure you that all of the management team know your work ethic and how consistent you are so don’t stress out if you have a slower [performance] occasionally.”

I also wish all the Olympians and anyone else who feels pressured to perform at a certain rate would know that it is OK to fail sometimes or not be able to be the Best all the time. I wish those around them would remind them that they are still worthy as human beings even when they show vulnerabilities and shortcomings because we all do. No human is perfect, but every human has intrinsic value. That is what I ultimately learned during my time off work last year.

Photo by Joshua Mcknight on Pexels.com
caring, eternal matters, life, life lessons, purpose, work

Why Rest is Necessary and Good

After weeks of built up stress and anxiety, my world collapsed. I felt abandoned, exhausted and full of despair and heartbreak. I won’t go into excruciating details, but suffice it to say if anything good has come out of my most recent trial it’s the realization that I need to take God’s directive to rest more seriously.

I thought if I approached my work and my life with a passionate demeanor that I would not ever approach mental exhaustion and burnout. I was wrong. I realized at work, especially, that I regularly took the work of 3 people and thus, most of the managers that I had, had high expectations of me. However, regularly working a high workload with no vacation time and high demands are a combination for disaster for anyone, but especially someone on the spectrum like me.

Rest will look different for every person, but it is imperative that everyone take a rest from the things that burden and weigh them down. Rest can be physical sleep, or it can be temporary or permanent emotional distance from someone or something that is stressing you out. For instance, when a work project is stressing you out, taking a 15 minute or so break from it can clear your mind and help you maintain your sanity. In another situation, I had to make a clean break from a “friend” who was continually stressing me out and giving me anxiety every time I saw her.

This is why I recommend everybody that is working right now to take all your breaks that you are legally entitled to under state and company law. If a manager or an associate acting as a manager refuses to allow you to take a break, you can take it to a higher level manager or if all other options are exhausted, to your state’s (or country’s) labor agency. I know in high stress environments it’s always a race to get things done by X time, but if you are not healthy or alert, things will get messed up and slow things down anyway. Also, never “save” all your vacation days. Yes, save some of it, and try not to waste them. However, a person also needs time to rest from labor. This is why there is a Labor Day in the U.S. This is not only to honor those who work, but also to remind ourselves that we need rest from our labors.

Finally, take a rest from expectations and demands, both self-imposed and those implied or percipitated by others. This does not mean to rebel against rules and regulations that must be followed, but it means to not worry too much about how other people perceive you when you are already doing the best you can. It also means not to set too high a bar for yourself that you set yourself up for failure. I regularly fell apart under the weight of both my own demands and how others would perceive me when I failed. In my job, I have to perform at least 100 PR to be considered “good,” but I ended up being so trapped by a PR number, that if I performed below 130 PR, I got upset at myself. I felt pressured both externally and internally to perform at higher and higher standards until the work became anxiety-provoking and aggravating. I believe if my coworkers and I did not know our PR for even a day, or it was not counted for let’s say a week, people would feel free to work more carefully and not just so fast, taking shortcuts, that they messed up a customer’s order or did not follow rules and regulations of the company.

So, rest is vital to not only our work environment, but also our well-being and our state of mind. Rest clears the mind of its needless clutter and it brings peace and comfort to the soul and body. Rest is also being obedient to the Fifth of Ten Commandments, which is to rest from our labors on Sabbath day, a day each week you designate in your heart to devote to God and rest in Him. Rest is necessary for a healthy and vibrant soul.